cause I was gr00med online or cause I'm autistic or if I'm just an asshole? But I truly want to stop and get my act together and be better. All I want is to be normal.

But what i mean to say is like I make my classmates uncomfortable I guess? With like the sex jokes and the shoulder touching and stuff like that. I don't know if it's cause I'm hypersexual(or something like that? I don't have a better word) or because I was m0lested or

I also should mention that most of my classmates say shit like "oh go touch them!" (like on the shoulder or something) or "oh yell out this" and a lot of times I listen?? Cause I'm a fucking idiot. A lot of them also act like touching me is a virus?? But that's been going on since like kindergarten.

my teacher said something that kind of hurt so I just nodded, said sorry, and then quietly cried at my desk. I'm just too sensitive. I want to be better. Better for my dad better for my teachers better for my friends better for my future and myself. But I don't know how to fix myself at this point.

want to be able to control myself. "oh but just STOP??" I literally want to so bad bro. It's just with my impulse issues and how 70% of my classmates would never acknowledge my existence if I never started this shit. I also wish I wasn't such a fucking PUSSY. Today I was getting chewed out and

with the fact that I'll be able to get a job and drive in a few years. I am very aware that I shouldn't use my autism as an excuse, but LORD does it explain shit. Especially with the stuff with my classmates. I feel so bad for my teachers for having to deal with me. I fucking hate myself. I just

myself in trouble so they can have something to laugh at. I feel like my teachers are getting tired of me, I KNOW my dad is getting sick of my shit, and I just can't control myself. I'm gonna be in high-school next year, and I know that people are going to have bigger expectations, especially