huhuhu thank u 🥹

hiroshiii 🥹🫂🫂🫂

but m gonna get a blood test first and next weeks so packed for me just running healthcare errands and im kinda sad!!!! but also it is what it is!!!!!!! ill survive bc what else is there to do

abuse existed in.

anyway (x2) just smth to get out. pls dont feel like u hav to say smth if u read this. i havent seen him in years and im glad he's never appeared again. i thank him for making it so easy for me to identify when someone is abusive and manipulative.

grateful to the friends who were patient enough with me to help me get out. i was an exhausting person to deal with in that situation, and regardless if it was bc of that or not, i dont blame us all for no longer talking or staying in contact. sometimes you just gotta heal outside of the world ur

anyway this is not a dig at anyone or anything. just felt like speaking up about it. i think i changed after what happened and i feel like i lost so much of me i can never get back since. i cant even begin to be who i used to be anymore and sometimes i see how i was before him and feel sad.

i lost friends too bc of what happened. i got some back, but it was one of the toughest times in my life esp considering the other circumstances i was dealing with while this guy ripped me to shreds. how it felt to deal with him and everything that he affected still haunts me to this day.

cant say im doing better in general, but m doing better in terms of understanding the situation i was in. i was embarrassing and exhausting, but i also saw how stuck i was. i rly couldnt fathom why i was like that, but thats bc im no longer in the situation and can see it for what it is now.

but at the same time i felt like throwing up bc back then i couldnt make my brain see what my abuser was doing. there was so much gaslighting and doubting myself for it. i knew he was being manipulative and abusive, but i kept thinking maybe i was the wrong one bc he made me believe i was.

omg the range the power!!! maybaps one day ill try it out...

or at the very least i just wanna rest and take a break but now im stuck here wasting time trying to get myself to feel ok and tiring myself out with it

i havent been enjoying my games as much as i should :( everything just feels like a drag