Lowering the Bar
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Lowering the Bar
@loweringthebar.net.web.brid.gy
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Legal Humor. Seriously. By Kevin Underhill.

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U.S. Pat. No. 8,667,956: Controllable [Human] Launcher
Looks fun! I'll go second.
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February 13, 2026 at 7:39 AM
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In Memory of “Death v. Graves”
<img alt="" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" height="178" src="https://www.loweringthebar.net/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/dvg-tombstone-300x178.jpeg" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="300" />You will be missed.
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February 3, 2026 at 7:39 AM
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Judge Finds for 11-Year-Old in Toy-Dinosaur-Assault Case
<img alt="" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" height="169" src="https://www.loweringthebar.net/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Toy-T-Rex-300x169.jpg" style="display: block; margin: auto; margin-bottom: 5px;" width="300" />Assault *with* a toy dinosaur, not upon one.
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January 29, 2026 at 7:39 AM
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New York State May Allow “Dancing by Default”
Don't get too excited yet, though.
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January 24, 2026 at 7:41 AM
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Get Lost, 2025
Hope to never see you again.
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January 13, 2026 at 7:38 AM
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Plaintiff Accuses St. Vincent of Negligent Stage-Diving
The artist allegedly "had to be removed from him by security guards," a detail that is never explained.
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December 30, 2025 at 7:37 AM
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Assorted Stupidity #171
In this edition: are those orange-fronted parakeets in your pants or are you just happy to be crossing the border, and other items of note.
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December 6, 2025 at 7:30 AM
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First Alleged Space Crime … Didn’t Happen
And when it does it won't look like this.
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November 20, 2025 at 7:13 AM
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Jury Deliberates in Sandwich-Assault Case [Update: Not Guilty]
Agent claims sandwich "exploded" on his chest, says he "could smell the onions and the mustard."
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November 7, 2025 at 7:08 AM
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Okay, It Seems to Have Been Pretty Successful
If it happened at all.
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November 1, 2025 at 7:08 AM
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Was That Scuba Burglary a Successful Aquatic Escape?
It remains to be seen ... but maybe.
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October 25, 2025 at 6:49 AM
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Nirvana Beats Former Baby’s Lawsuit (Again)
Please appeal again.
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October 25, 2025 at 6:49 AM
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Lawyers Say Chief Justice “Calm” Despite Flying Shoe
The lawyer who threw the shoe was reportedly suspended before the day was out.
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October 18, 2025 at 6:44 AM
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Court: Complaint That Spends 79 Pages Praising the Client Shall Be Rewritten
Not the "short and plain statement" Rule 8 requires, and also irritating.
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October 7, 2025 at 6:16 AM
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Following Up
In which I note recent developments in cases previously certified as stupid.
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October 7, 2025 at 6:16 AM
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Assorted Stupidity #170
In this edition: "I'm an AG" fails to impress, some shady deals, another thing not to use AI for, and other stuff.
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September 24, 2025 at 5:53 AM
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Can You Get a DUI in a Barbie Jeep? Again, Yes
This may be the only thing that Texas and Canada have in common.
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September 20, 2025 at 5:48 AM
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Yet More Aquatic Escape Attempts
People show no signs of stopping, even though these show no signs of working.
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September 6, 2025 at 5:46 AM
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DUI Lawyer Promises to Swoop in Riding Mighty Eagle
Maybe not literally, but still.
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September 6, 2025 at 5:46 AM
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Alleged Irish Orphan Convicted of Being American Rapist
By a Utah jury, following extradition from Scotland.
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August 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
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In the Ancient Libraries of Ashurbanipal
There was probably at least some writing this bad, but it may have been lost.
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August 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
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Constitution Deleted
Is somebody practing for the big day?
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August 15, 2025 at 5:38 AM
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Sea-Cucumber Abuser to Be “Moved Far From the Sea for a Long Period of Time”
Sea cucumbers would breathe a sigh of relief, if they had lungs.
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August 15, 2025 at 5:38 AM
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Defendant Recruited Seven Actors to “Testify” in Fraud Trial
"Are you a real lawyer?" one of them asked defense counsel.
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August 2, 2025 at 5:34 AM
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Assorted Stupidity #169
In this edition: pants on fire, complaints about press coverage, a bumbling treason attempt, and somebody wants a measly $1 trillion.
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July 25, 2025 at 5:33 AM