"I can't imagine doing research on my own without asking the information slop machine to squeeze out some preprocessed word goop for me."
Does he think this makes him sound smart??

He's just wearing deely boppers.

Judgemental orb!

...okay but when you find a brand of jeans that fits right and has nice deep pockets, YOU KEEP A SPARE.

*Smash Bros knockout noise*

Death By Penalty sounds like a punk album title.

We should get SOME reading on those pants, up OR down!

[At Doom's Gate intensifies]

Your call is important enough for us to start the half hour delay timer before we send you to a real person, just to see if we can frustrate you into going away.

Well, yeah. Phone trees exist to frustrate you into not bothering them.

Ah, literally my favorite game!

Siiigh... yeah, I'm probably on some kind of list because of Kerbal Space Program.
(KSP players refer to the fuel- saving technique of going full throttle at the last second so you come to a hover JUST above the ground as a "suicide burn".)

Don't be silly. If it were that high there'd be no room for all the parasitic worms!

Flaps 10 degrees
Throttle full
Rotate!
Gear up
Flaps up

They were a big deal to the Aztec and Maya! In fact, Aztec myth says the world was once destroyed by a rain of jaguars.

That is not a joke.