More specifically, the Os are doing bigger things faster in re Alonso.

There's a good xkcd for this!

They can be in charge of a lot for themselves and it can for sure get squiggly when the family can't agree. And best practices can be confusing as kids grow - like how do I ensure a kid is wearing a helmet out of my eyesight and when do I intervene?

I pack extra layers and safety vests/lights for when we're walking back from a neighbor's late at night. When is using reflective gear (or bike helmets or a life jacket) damaging their sense of self or our relationship?

I agree that transportation can be a venue for autonomy - bus, light rail/metro/MARC, school buses, carpools, all kinds of things - but as a parent of young kids it's really frustrating to hear basic safety measures placed in opposition to autonomy-supportive parenting.

I hate being filled with these kinds of regrets because as a parent I couldn't change my life without impacting my kids but surely their lives would be improved if their mom was less catastrophically depressed?