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lavenderroach.bsky.social
❥ Matt 🪳
@lavenderroach.bsky.social
220 followers 270 following 2.1K posts
Profile pic by @japanikatti.bsky.social / Banner by @newecreator.bsky.social

the trash is full to the top, no cans or bottles in it.
roaches swarm around me as I rise and levitate.

(he/him)
http://callmelethargy.bandcamp.com
fka @sleepless_matt
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lavenderroach.bsky.social
Finally there is a year end "Wrapped" for my favorite past-time: Bullying kids online. 🥳
A notification saying: "Checkpoint. Look back at your 2025 on Discord."
December 4, 2025 at 8:11 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
I have finally finished James Joyce's Ulysses.
Took me 6 goddamn months. I have read books with more pages before but nothing has taken me this much actual time before.

app.thestorygraph.com/reviews/b2a8...
I've read Ulysses by James Joyce. Gave it 3.5 out of 5 stars. May 26, 2025 to Nov 28, 2025. 708 pages read. Total reading time 42h 15m 54s. Reading speed in pages per hour: 16 Most pages read in a day: 30 Most minutes read in a day: 122
November 29, 2025 at 12:36 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
It's brussel sprout season, y'all. Let's fucking go!
Cut up, seasoned brussel sprouts in a pan. Cut up, seasoned, roasted brussel sprouts in a pan.
November 26, 2025 at 5:17 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Screenshot of a timeline in a digital audio workstation. In a string of numbers, the digits 1312 are circle. Next to it a shocked, an angry, and a flame emoji.
November 26, 2025 at 11:07 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Most important card in Magic: The Gathering history.
Benalish Hero Creature — Human Soldier Banding (Any creatures with banding, and up to one without, can attack in a band. Bands are blocked as a group. If any creatures with banding you control are blocking or being blocked by a creature, you divide that creature’s combat damage, not its controller, among any of the creatures it’s being blocked by or is blocking.) Benalia has a complex caste system that changes with the lunar year. No matter what the season, the only caste that cannot be attained by either heredity or money is that of the hero. 1/1 Illustrated by Douglas Schuler
November 19, 2025 at 6:13 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Spamming my non-Magic friends with cards like this and being like "this one reminds me of you".
A card from the game Magic: The Gathering called "Spur Grappler". The graphic depicting a small hunchbacked creature with massive pointy nose, two long horns, and green leathery skin moving through the smoke clouds of a wasteland.
November 13, 2025 at 11:53 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
We chillin'.
Selfie of me sitting on a park bench with a crow next to me. Also I'm flipping the bird.
November 3, 2025 at 4:30 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Digimon rules.
A Digimon monster design. A pink, slimy creatures with yellow teeth, a cockroach tattoo on its arm, banana peels as hair, holding a makeshift bazooka while sitting in a green garbage can. "Poop Bazooka, Junk Chunker. Fires poop from its bazooka."
October 31, 2025 at 5:55 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Screenshot of BlueSky timeline. A post by moxiest.art with an illustration of the Toronto Blue Jays logo followed by a post by bordperhour.net with a picture of a real blue jay.
October 29, 2025 at 5:12 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
This is the vibe I bring to Magic's Modern format at the local game store.
An on-going game of Magic The Gathering. A card called City Pigeon on the table. Cards are in custom sleeves with a crude drawing of a pigeon's butt as the animal looks down through its own legs at the viewer. An on-going game of Magic The Gathering. A card called Docescape on the table next to a custom token card with a photo of a pigeon. More custom cards with pigeon photos to the side. Cards are in custom sleeves with a crude drawing of a pigeon's butt as the animal looks down through its own legs at the viewer.
October 24, 2025 at 5:05 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Thought you were talking about this for a second.
Movie poster. "Will Smith is Hitch. The cure for the common man."
October 21, 2025 at 10:23 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
The loser "Trumpet Blast" and the chad "Army of Allah".
A Magic The Gathering card. "Trumpet Blast Attacking creatures get +2/+0 until end of turn. The sound of the trumpets lights a fire in the hearts of the bold and snuffs the courage of the cowardly." A Magic The Gathering card. "Army of Allah Attacking creatures get +2/+0 until end of turn. On the day of victory no one is tired. —Arab proverb"
October 13, 2025 at 7:14 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
My handsome, handsome boy. 💞
Side profile photo of a city pigeon.
September 23, 2025 at 1:17 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Figured out a pigeon-themed Magic: The Gathering deck that might actually be viable for tournaments and my dumb ass decided to make custom token cards for it with pictures I took from my neighborhood pigeons to print somewhere. lmao
A German-language custom card for the trading card game Magic The Gathering with a photo of a pigeon. A German-language custom card for the trading card game Magic The Gathering with a photo of a pigeon. A German-language custom card for the trading card game Magic The Gathering with a photo of a pigeon. A German-language custom card for the trading card game Magic The Gathering with a photo of a pigeon.
September 21, 2025 at 2:54 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Unfortunately I didn't pull the card I really wanted myself but I was able to trade with another guy and went home with the City Pigeon.
Holding a card from the trading card game Magic: The Gathering. A German variant of a card called "City Pigeon".
September 20, 2025 at 10:40 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Meme image. Close up of Megamind from the titular movie with raised eye-brows looking straight at the camera. Top text: "No pigeons?"
September 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
At least I was still able to cop a free card for participation. lol
Holding a card from the trading card game "Magic: The Gathering". Singularity Rupture Sorcery Destroy all creatures, then any number of target players each mill half their library, rounded down. “Rejoice! For within sekhar, the final sacrifice, you will find passage to the Next Eternity.” —Calnan, Monoist assassin
September 12, 2025 at 10:14 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
The most relatable line in all of James Joyce's Ulysses.
Brainfogfag. That tired feeling. Too much for me now. Ow.
September 11, 2025 at 6:59 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
Yesterday was International Vulture Awareness Day and I'm still thinking about them birds.

I think my top three in no particular order are Turkey Vultures, Black Vultures, and Egyptian Vultures.
All 10/10 creature design.
Turkey vulture on a branch. Black vulture on a branch. Close up of an Egyptian vulture.
September 7, 2025 at 9:17 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
This perfectly cut off final page of a chapter sums up Joyce's Ulysses very well in more than one way.
An ebook device. The screen reads "Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo".
September 7, 2025 at 6:27 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
I just bought a stupid ticket to participate in a stupid in-store Magic: The Gathering tournament a couple of weeks from now for that stupid upcoming Spider-Man card set.

I'm just doing it to get my grubby little hands on this legend. 🙏😩
September 5, 2025 at 8:19 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
The greatest card to come out of the stupid upcoming Spider-Man Magic card set. lol
A card for the game "Magic: The Gathering". City Pigeon Creature: Bird Flying When this creatures leaves the battlefield, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "2, tap, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.") "Aw, that was my lunch!" - Spider-Man, Peter Parker
September 3, 2025 at 4:32 AM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
I am so grateful to every critter I get to meet in these urban wastelands.
Dragonfly on a dirty fence wire, the sun reflecting off its wings. View from below at a dragonfly on an old fence wire with the bright sun behind it.
August 20, 2025 at 6:01 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
There is an official, original Magic: The Gathering manga?!
Frickin' move over, Yu-Gi-Oh!
Holding the first book of a Magic: The Gathering manga in front of a book shelf.
August 20, 2025 at 5:59 PM
lavenderroach.bsky.social
I just remembered that I did play MTG Arena for a bit many years ago. I just re-installed it and logged into my account for the first time since 2021.

Apparently I built a blue/black deck and named it "Piss in the Shower".
I do not remember this.
August 17, 2025 at 12:43 PM