"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, " the best that l can say is not much.

💯

Presumably dude on the right, James McCrery, has (had) a reputation to care about. Dude on the left will go down in history as a bumbling yet reason to be feared villain in the vein of Joe Pesci in Home Alone. May McCrery also find his name in the toilet swirl of shitheads for our time.

Yup yes absolutely all day long

The shade of “a much smaller box” is so goddamn delightful.

Ugh the bamboo metaphor is blinding me. I wanna recommend a couple of pandas. Of course that’s not the half of it but still.