She left my dick pic on read which is crazy because my dick is bomb
February 4, 2026 at 8:39 PM
She left my dick pic on read which is crazy because my dick is bomb
This is exactly how I hold a woman while I make her squirt
January 29, 2026 at 9:45 PM
This is exactly how I hold a woman while I make her squirt
That girl I matched with 2 years ago who retweets porn on Twitter every day is probably my soulmate
January 29, 2026 at 4:39 PM
That girl I matched with 2 years ago who retweets porn on Twitter every day is probably my soulmate
If you have the thought to block someone on Spotify you need to sprint to the hospital
January 26, 2026 at 7:56 PM
If you have the thought to block someone on Spotify you need to sprint to the hospital
Orgy is canceled so I guess I don't need to trim my toenails tn
January 23, 2026 at 4:15 AM
Orgy is canceled so I guess I don't need to trim my toenails tn
This chick I boned left her earrings at my house then blocked me so if anyone wants free earrings hmu
January 17, 2026 at 7:47 PM
This chick I boned left her earrings at my house then blocked me so if anyone wants free earrings hmu
It's Text Seven of Your Exes Saturday
#textsevenofyourexessaturday
#textsevenofyourexessaturday
January 17, 2026 at 4:47 PM
It's Text Seven of Your Exes Saturday
#textsevenofyourexessaturday
#textsevenofyourexessaturday
I only post about music on the internet if I'm distressed. If I was of sound mind I would not be doing that
January 17, 2026 at 4:04 PM
I only post about music on the internet if I'm distressed. If I was of sound mind I would not be doing that
Going on a first date tonight. The mission? Don't mention the fact I got broken up with two days ago
January 17, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Going on a first date tonight. The mission? Don't mention the fact I got broken up with two days ago
My neighbors get so much free fap material because I'm straight jerking it on the couch lights on no curtains
January 14, 2026 at 12:48 AM
My neighbors get so much free fap material because I'm straight jerking it on the couch lights on no curtains
Last year I broke this girl's heart and she told me she would NEVER DATE AGAIN and anyway she's married now
January 8, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Last year I broke this girl's heart and she told me she would NEVER DATE AGAIN and anyway she's married now
Daily reminder that the cute girls at Jersey Mikes are only nice to you because they're paid to be nice to you
December 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Daily reminder that the cute girls at Jersey Mikes are only nice to you because they're paid to be nice to you
My favorite stripper got a boyfriend and quit and it's NOT ME!!!!!!
December 9, 2025 at 3:59 PM
My favorite stripper got a boyfriend and quit and it's NOT ME!!!!!!
I've gotten laid off the 👀 emoji more than any other strategy in history
December 5, 2025 at 1:01 AM
I've gotten laid off the 👀 emoji more than any other strategy in history
Now I'm getting ads for wedding rings what's that about
I've started to get dating app ads tailored to both men AND women parity achieved
November 25, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Now I'm getting ads for wedding rings what's that about
I've started to get dating app ads tailored to both men AND women parity achieved
November 20, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I've started to get dating app ads tailored to both men AND women parity achieved
You know they say you shouldn't stick your dick in crazy. But they're wrong.
November 2, 2025 at 6:25 PM
You know they say you shouldn't stick your dick in crazy. But they're wrong.
I'm giving my address to too many crazy chicks and that's on facts
October 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I'm giving my address to too many crazy chicks and that's on facts
If I could teleport my dick would never be dry
October 27, 2025 at 3:37 PM
If I could teleport my dick would never be dry
She asked me what my vibe was and I said "evil"
October 27, 2025 at 3:14 PM
She asked me what my vibe was and I said "evil"
Guy at the bar is bemoaning the fact his daughter left and had a wild streak and dropped all contact with him and moved to a city and I'm trying so hard not to ask him for her number
October 17, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Guy at the bar is bemoaning the fact his daughter left and had a wild streak and dropped all contact with him and moved to a city and I'm trying so hard not to ask him for her number
Getting lovebombed and believe me I'm taking that shit straight to the bank
October 17, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Getting lovebombed and believe me I'm taking that shit straight to the bank
It only takes like three inconveniences in a row to make me believe there is a worldwide conspiracy out to get me
October 13, 2025 at 10:41 PM
It only takes like three inconveniences in a row to make me believe there is a worldwide conspiracy out to get me
I need a girlboss so bad
October 11, 2025 at 12:38 PM
I need a girlboss so bad