How do you professionally say, "If you book me in meetings all day, when do you expect me to get this work done?" in corporate?
December 10, 2025 at 3:54 AM
How do you professionally say, "If you book me in meetings all day, when do you expect me to get this work done?" in corporate?
I used to be cool but now I say things like "Why is it so loud in this restaurant?"
December 10, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I used to be cool but now I say things like "Why is it so loud in this restaurant?"
I think the funniest thing ever is when you wake up a snoring person and tell them
"You gotta stop." like they can control it
"You gotta stop." like they can control it
December 10, 2025 at 3:05 AM
I think the funniest thing ever is when you wake up a snoring person and tell them
"You gotta stop." like they can control it
"You gotta stop." like they can control it
So what do y'all think Mac N. Cheese's middle name is!
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
December 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM
So what do y'all think Mac N. Cheese's middle name is!
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
The worst part about shopping online is having to get up and get your card
December 9, 2025 at 4:00 AM
The worst part about shopping online is having to get up and get your card
In conclusion I need a cinnamon roll
December 9, 2025 at 3:37 AM
In conclusion I need a cinnamon roll
Do you ever go to a big city and think "I bet their TJMAXX is incredible" bc I do
December 9, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Do you ever go to a big city and think "I bet their TJMAXX is incredible" bc I do
Very bold of the creator of spinach and artichoke dip to name it that when it's 95% cheese
December 8, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Very bold of the creator of spinach and artichoke dip to name it that when it's 95% cheese
Day 10 without coffee:
Lost hearing in my right arm.
Lost hearing in my right arm.
December 8, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Day 10 without coffee:
Lost hearing in my right arm.
Lost hearing in my right arm.
Neverrrr underestimate how much of a blessing it is to have zero health problems
December 8, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Neverrrr underestimate how much of a blessing it is to have zero health problems
Remember spelling tests? Teachers would be like "Take out a sheet of lined paper and number it 1-20."
December 7, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Remember spelling tests? Teachers would be like "Take out a sheet of lined paper and number it 1-20."
"So what do you want for Christmas?"
Well, lately I've been really into groceries and gas. Utilities are cool. Stuff like that.
Well, lately I've been really into groceries and gas. Utilities are cool. Stuff like that.
December 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
"So what do you want for Christmas?"
Well, lately I've been really into groceries and gas. Utilities are cool. Stuff like that.
Well, lately I've been really into groceries and gas. Utilities are cool. Stuff like that.
"We should catch up soon" is the biggest lie of adulthood
December 7, 2025 at 4:08 AM
"We should catch up soon" is the biggest lie of adulthood
just realized it's december, it feels like i hallucinated this whole year
December 6, 2025 at 11:25 PM
just realized it's december, it feels like i hallucinated this whole year
I put my phone on low battery mode knowing it does nothing, but the yellow battery feels less scary than the red one
December 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I put my phone on low battery mode knowing it does nothing, but the yellow battery feels less scary than the red one
Apparently you need to eat less food to lose weight. This is nonsense
December 6, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Apparently you need to eat less food to lose weight. This is nonsense
I won $16 on the Powerball!!!!
Please respect my privacy at this time.
Please respect my privacy at this time.
December 6, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I won $16 on the Powerball!!!!
Please respect my privacy at this time.
Please respect my privacy at this time.
Drinking water after eating chocolate or ice cream is 10/10
December 6, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Drinking water after eating chocolate or ice cream is 10/10
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.
December 5, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.
December 5, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.
Unfortunately, my face will say it before I do
December 5, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Unfortunately, my face will say it before I do
Santa has the right idea:
Only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.
Only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.
December 5, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Santa has the right idea:
Only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.
Only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.
I used to be a night owl but as l've gotten older, l've become more of a person who doesn't function at any time.
December 4, 2025 at 5:34 AM
I used to be a night owl but as l've gotten older, l've become more of a person who doesn't function at any time.
Apologies to the older folks we used to judge for eating dinner at 5 and being in bed by 9. You guys were really on to something.
December 4, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Apologies to the older folks we used to judge for eating dinner at 5 and being in bed by 9. You guys were really on to something.
becoming my own secret santa by forgetting the purchases i made in the middle of the night half asleep
December 4, 2025 at 1:43 AM
becoming my own secret santa by forgetting the purchases i made in the middle of the night half asleep