I can still make myself laugh just thinking about the "awfully big moustache" joke

Me and my mate are going to get a racket going where I float babies down a river on reeds and he picks them up downstream and declares them king.

Rinse and repeat a few times and we'll control most of Norfolk.

I've just realised I'm a codemonger

After finishing the post-grad and getting a 'real' job in my field I realised I didn't have 'it' and way preferred software dev, also reading Copeland's JPod helped, so retooled myself to learn c++ and got a job in the city. That was 2006, i was 29, never looked back.

I overran by a year finishing my post-grad and my funding had run out so I got a part-time job.

Ended up doing temp work at an alcoholics shelter in east London. Turned into my first paid software job building an Access database app that tracked all the residents eating/drinking/behaviour habits.

Claire Danes in Mary Poppins, but all the cut-scenes are schizophrenic episodes whilst she neglects the children

I've never washed my whole face in cold water when I'm stressed.

Would make an awesome level-boss character in a silent hill style game

I feel like Colin Wilson, except I'm writing code rather than a novel. Also, I don't live on Hampstead Heath.

You're surrounded by years of history

It's so cool.

It didn't take long to get a reader's pass. Lasts for three years. Free.

It's quiet (duh) and comfy and there's wifi.

You can't take food and drink in there so you focus your time until you want a break, then there's cafes where you can get stuff

We had "Colonel Hathi's March" from Jungle Book over and over again on every car journey

Charlie,

*looking nervously out of a Buckingham palace window whilst an underling tries to convince him they are shouting "Knock ins", Mr Burns style*

"So it's some sort of American sports thing is it?"

I just forwarded this to everyone I know, amazing

I've just had a great idea for a new Dr Who Weeping-Angel style villain

That's quite an old computer in the image there

*In the shoe shop* "Hello, I'd like to buy some gloves for my leg-hands."

This could be our reality.