it was brilliant, especially the hapless US distribution team that went “we don’t know what’s going on but we’ll try our best”

he looks like the math teacher that had boring lessons but a heart of gold, or the math teacher with the enlightening lessons but failed half the class

she just wasn’t ever the same after they resurrected her through cloning technology and couldn’t phase out the xenomorph queen DNA 🥺

i’ll admit, i have zero knowledge about any of the Canadian astronauts or their controversies — except for Lt. Ellen Ripley in the upper right and her alleged destruction of a Weyland-Yutani freighter

i’m an absolute “ space case “ in that i’m really into space stuff but also way too dumb to grasp any of what i read 🫥

my algorithm is composed mostly of “ooo isn’t this big rock SHINY?” and me thoughtfully responding “yes i concur with your hippopotamus.”

i kept reading this too fast and seeing “he cut a child in half” but that’s says more about me than anything

no no *i* was the bartender; he was the new barback.

at the opening i say “i have to stop sleeping with the new barbacks, they all get so lazy after they’ve fucked me.”

in walks Harrison (who is SUCH a sweetie and amazing performer) as the new barback and i decide… okay NEXT barback i won’t bang 🤤

the things he does to me in this scene would say least get the bar a five-star review 🫠

🤌🤌🤌

oh gosh i suppose i can forgive you THIS TIME

my brain: “it’s healthy cos it has so much protein 🥺”

can we try anyway? 😈

i’ve definitely heard a bed crack under me before and it turned me on so much 😩

hmm no let’s just feed me more cakes and milkshakes until i get so big i need two plane seats to travel 🤗

yes i am!
*drinks milk out of the carton while scratching her butt*

i forgot to tell you but i snorted so loud when i saw this lol

my hypothesis is… i’m a slut 😩