I'd rather live in 1Q84 than this version of 1984, and that's saying something.

It's inherently easier in many ways to exist within an identity that your culture already deems acceptable, and many cultures have internalized the idea that being trans is deviant. Choosing to be deviant is something culture can attempt to condemn, but deviance outside your control is more accepted

That's why your earlier comments received push back. Feeding into the idea that the entire trans experience is a choice makes it easier for transphobes to justify themselves and belittles the suffering that can come with being trans.

I see that you mean well. In the sense that a person can choose how to label themselves and whether they want to physically or socially transition, you're right.

Legislators often use the idea that being trans, intrinsically, is a choice to keep us from getting needed healthcare and equal rights.

Gender identity is complicated and can constantly evolve because gender itself is a social construct built around arbitrary cultural norms. Your identity either matches the norms assigned by your culture based on physical characteristics, or it doesn't.

If that's the perspective you apply to your own identity, you can do that.

The danger in saying that "being trans is a choice" is that the phrase, in the absence of the several paragraphs expanding upon your point, implies those underlying feelings are something a person chooses to have.

Any LGBT person can choose to ignore and deny their identity. That doesn't make them no longer LGBT.

A bi person who hasn't dated every gender doesn't stop being bi. A gay person who stays celibate doesn't stop being gay. A trans person who doesn't socially transition doesn't stop being trans.

The part that ISN'T a choice is the identity itself, independent of the label a person either does or doesn't choose to use.

If I'm AFAB, and feel that I'm anything other than a "woman", I'm definitionally trans. I may never call myself that, or take any actions based on it, but I am.

Not to be an asshole, but it's 3 degrees 😅

I don't want to come across as dismissing your journey, and that you feel there was an element of choice involved in that journey *for you*, but you're attempting to speak for the entire trans community by saying it's always a choice. That's factually wrong, and it's a dangerous idea to spread.

Also, just for reference, I'm under the trans umbrella myself, as is my spouse. I have a degree in Child Development. I have a degree in Psychology. I have a Master's in Sociology. My understanding comes from both personal experience and extensive formal academic study.

Your argument is still more a matter of linguistics than identity. You can call yourself whatever you want. That's a choice. Whether or not you feel that the sex assigned to you at birth is correct, or tells the full story of who you are, is *not* a choice.

I'm pretty sure they blocked me, but shortly before that, I realized they're only 18. I probably would've made a similar argument -out of internalized transphobia- at their age, and didn't really accept myself until my mid-20s. Hopefully, they'll figure it out someday 🤞🏻

Choosing not to use the trans label for whatever personal reason a person may have is inherently different from arguing a person can wake up one day and decide to experience gender dysphoria. You're arguing a linguistic point, not a psychological one.

Just because a person becomes conscious of a given identity at a stage of life that occurs later than infancy doesn't mean that their identity is an intentional choice.

Hi! I stopped working in ABA in 2021 when I became aware of its issues. But lying about my work and educational history doesn't change that, so I listed it.

As an autistic person, I can reclaim the puzzle piece as shorthand in my display name if I so choose.

Thanks for the concern!

My focus kind of chose me. After years of working 70 hours + doing school, paying for undergrad largely out of pocket to minimize debt, doing everything "right" and finally reaching the point where everyone said it'd get easier, my first job in my field paid so little I had to supplement with SW.