Julia Scotti
@juliascotti1.bsky.social
Nationally headlining comedian. AGT quarter-finalist, featured on Showtime's "More Funny Women of a Certain Age" Dry Bar special, "Jersey Fresh"
Watching the courageous protesters in Minneapolis. At first, I thought they were film students who had just seen a screening of “Melania.”
January 30, 2026 at 10:33 PM
Watching the courageous protesters in Minneapolis. At first, I thought they were film students who had just seen a screening of “Melania.”
I hope this storm isn’t described as a “once in a century storm.”
We’ve had like three so far this century already.
We’ve had like three so far this century already.
January 23, 2026 at 9:09 PM
I hope this storm isn’t described as a “once in a century storm.”
We’ve had like three so far this century already.
We’ve had like three so far this century already.
The inauguration was 1 year ago today.
Thus began our endless supply of
Last straws.
Thus began our endless supply of
Last straws.
January 20, 2026 at 12:07 PM
The inauguration was 1 year ago today.
Thus began our endless supply of
Last straws.
Thus began our endless supply of
Last straws.
So there’s a new show called “Suddenly Amish,”
Where people have become Amish.
And yet I’m not allowed to be transgender.
You people have issues, you know that?
Where people have become Amish.
And yet I’m not allowed to be transgender.
You people have issues, you know that?
January 13, 2026 at 11:01 PM
So there’s a new show called “Suddenly Amish,”
Where people have become Amish.
And yet I’m not allowed to be transgender.
You people have issues, you know that?
Where people have become Amish.
And yet I’m not allowed to be transgender.
You people have issues, you know that?
I think Friday is the last day we can gracefully wish someone a Happy New Year without feeling like we've crossed the line.
January 12, 2026 at 3:10 PM
I think Friday is the last day we can gracefully wish someone a Happy New Year without feeling like we've crossed the line.
So there's a movie coming out about Melania.
I wonder who's playing Boris, Moose and Squirrel?
I wonder who's playing Boris, Moose and Squirrel?
January 12, 2026 at 12:44 PM
So there's a movie coming out about Melania.
I wonder who's playing Boris, Moose and Squirrel?
I wonder who's playing Boris, Moose and Squirrel?
Minneapolis.
Watch the video and decide.
Watch the video and decide.
January 7, 2026 at 7:43 PM
Minneapolis.
Watch the video and decide.
Watch the video and decide.
Will someone just name a star after this maniac and tell him that he’s master of the universe now?
January 5, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Will someone just name a star after this maniac and tell him that he’s master of the universe now?
Aunt Julia says...
When you're feeling low and down in the dumps, go down to the dumps and see what living there would be like.
When you're feeling low and down in the dumps, go down to the dumps and see what living there would be like.
January 4, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Aunt Julia says...
When you're feeling low and down in the dumps, go down to the dumps and see what living there would be like.
When you're feeling low and down in the dumps, go down to the dumps and see what living there would be like.
Reposted by Julia Scotti
It's an old and obvious pattern. An unpopular president - failing on the economy and losing his grip on power at home - decides to launch a war for regime change abroad.
The American people don’t want to “run” a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one.
The American people don’t want to “run” a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one.
January 3, 2026 at 5:08 PM
It's an old and obvious pattern. An unpopular president - failing on the economy and losing his grip on power at home - decides to launch a war for regime change abroad.
The American people don’t want to “run” a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one.
The American people don’t want to “run” a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one.
America...I am doing what I always do in times of turmoil and crisis.
I'm making meatballs.
I'm making meatballs.
January 3, 2026 at 6:29 PM
America...I am doing what I always do in times of turmoil and crisis.
I'm making meatballs.
I'm making meatballs.
Remember that, kids….
The Marilyn Monroe Doctrines….are important doctrines. Maybe the most important doctrines.
The Marilyn Monroe Doctrines….are important doctrines. Maybe the most important doctrines.
January 3, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Remember that, kids….
The Marilyn Monroe Doctrines….are important doctrines. Maybe the most important doctrines.
The Marilyn Monroe Doctrines….are important doctrines. Maybe the most important doctrines.
So, when can Maduro expect his pardon?
January 3, 2026 at 4:30 PM
So, when can Maduro expect his pardon?
Just finished watching Rob Reiner’s production of
“The American President.”
I needed this.
“The American President.”
I needed this.
January 2, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Just finished watching Rob Reiner’s production of
“The American President.”
I needed this.
“The American President.”
I needed this.
Arthur Miller's most famous work had several working titles among them were...
1. Sprained ankle of a Salesman
2. Bad Breath of a Salesman
3. Roman a' Clef of a Salesman
4. Sidney Neff is a Salesman
5. Tone Deaf was the Salesman.
I am finished.
1. Sprained ankle of a Salesman
2. Bad Breath of a Salesman
3. Roman a' Clef of a Salesman
4. Sidney Neff is a Salesman
5. Tone Deaf was the Salesman.
I am finished.
December 29, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Arthur Miller's most famous work had several working titles among them were...
1. Sprained ankle of a Salesman
2. Bad Breath of a Salesman
3. Roman a' Clef of a Salesman
4. Sidney Neff is a Salesman
5. Tone Deaf was the Salesman.
I am finished.
1. Sprained ankle of a Salesman
2. Bad Breath of a Salesman
3. Roman a' Clef of a Salesman
4. Sidney Neff is a Salesman
5. Tone Deaf was the Salesman.
I am finished.
An ad for someone called Master Lu says that If I do his tai chi, I will be unrecognizable by New Year's.
Haven't I had enough issues with identity?
Haven't I had enough issues with identity?
December 29, 2025 at 7:13 PM
An ad for someone called Master Lu says that If I do his tai chi, I will be unrecognizable by New Year's.
Haven't I had enough issues with identity?
Haven't I had enough issues with identity?
Look within.
I recently abandoned the idea of teaching a "MASTER CLASS" online when I realized I'm not that good at anything.
I recently abandoned the idea of teaching a "MASTER CLASS" online when I realized I'm not that good at anything.
December 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Look within.
I recently abandoned the idea of teaching a "MASTER CLASS" online when I realized I'm not that good at anything.
I recently abandoned the idea of teaching a "MASTER CLASS" online when I realized I'm not that good at anything.
Zelensky heard to privately complain about the breakfast buffet at Mar-a-Lago.
"You call this an omelet?"
"You call this an omelet?"
December 29, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Zelensky heard to privately complain about the breakfast buffet at Mar-a-Lago.
"You call this an omelet?"
"You call this an omelet?"
There's something about seeing a herd of deer in a snowfall that makes me want to paint the scene on plates and convince people to buy them for $29.95 as a limited collectible.
December 27, 2025 at 6:57 PM
There's something about seeing a herd of deer in a snowfall that makes me want to paint the scene on plates and convince people to buy them for $29.95 as a limited collectible.
Release the Rockford Files!
December 23, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Release the Rockford Files!
When did "sleeping late" come to mean getting up at 6:30 am?
December 21, 2025 at 1:43 PM
When did "sleeping late" come to mean getting up at 6:30 am?
Tomorrow is the winter solstice. So put on your best pagan outfit and start chanting OOGAH BOOGAH! OOGAH BOOGAH! repeatedly out in front of your house at 9:02 am.
December 20, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Tomorrow is the winter solstice. So put on your best pagan outfit and start chanting OOGAH BOOGAH! OOGAH BOOGAH! repeatedly out in front of your house at 9:02 am.
So far it looks like the only ones not in the files are Pinky Lee and Clifford the Big Red Dog.
December 20, 2025 at 1:54 PM
So far it looks like the only ones not in the files are Pinky Lee and Clifford the Big Red Dog.
So, now that he's taken over, when is the Kennedy Center going to offer nude pole dancing classes?
December 20, 2025 at 1:45 PM
So, now that he's taken over, when is the Kennedy Center going to offer nude pole dancing classes?