I can’t control and as much as I can get angry at some people, I know we are on our own for the most part. But we made it this far. We’re still going to keep going. I just don’t entirely know why. And at what cost.

Unlike Chase I don’t plan to name drop like they have. But if you know this is for you? Time to stare in the mirror for some soul searching. But as far as I’m concerned, people believe what they want and they act accordingly.

And while I’m not as mad at the furry fandom the same way they have, part of me can’t help they’re right unfortunately. And that who I thought were friends or had the same values would stay with them too.

I don’t care who sees this, who says what or anything. It’s void posting at this rate. But I’m still going to air my problems because where else do I have now? I can’t tell chase shit because it just repeats things. And I never get a chance to explain much more.

Despite this, I did graduate after years of school. And I see a path out of retail for once. I can’t say I accomplished nothing. And as far as disability claim, we made it to the hearing. Sucks we are still fighting it but I’ll be dead before I stop. Not happening.

There’s a fair amount of you privy to what’s been happening because I’ve been telling folks as much as I can and what’s relevant. So a good chunk know my struggle.

There’s a part of me knowing Chase knows what I’m doing and I’m helping best I can. But with me having ADHD(am medicated) I struggle to figure out where do I even fucking start of what needs to be done before hand before I can get it done.

But what do I have to look forward to? A better job hopefully. Getting one of my mates here so they can live with us. And maybe the ability to travel and see my pack whenever I’m able. I hold out hope I’ll get those things eventually. But I’m just too tired.

Even online I can’t stand the idea because I’m just so tired and I feel like I’m just going to sit there like every other hangout or gathering and just not contribute. And just be there. I’m kind of tired of existing at this rate.

I know they’re the one disabled and they’re the one limited and they’re the one who had their friends abandon them and lost any support network and sense of community they were feeling. But fuck what about me here? I’ve sacrificed a lot and I’m just burnt out from seeing anyone

After all this time, I just don’t feel my efforts are appreciated and understood. I barely get any recognition anymore, and I feel like I can’t air out how I feel about all of this without chase essentially one upping their situation.

Credit to @nastybearz.bsky.social who is, in fact, a bara artist who also draws pussy

I friggin hope so!