Jonathan Wlodarski
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jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Jonathan Wlodarski
@jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
150 followers 240 following 240 posts
Writing the best fiction of all time!! LOVE LETTERS TO A FUTURE ICE AGE: STORIES coming from @sundresspub.bsky.social in 2026
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jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Lifelong dream fulfilled omg
Red and green aurora borealis in the sky Red and green aurora borealis in the sky Red and green aurora borealis in the sky
November 12, 2025 at 5:16 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Beam Kirby
October 28, 2025 at 3:35 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
The shockingly gorgeous face of a man with a forthcoming book
Selfie of me in front of a placid lake Selfie of me in front of a placid lake with some trees in the background
October 18, 2025 at 5:42 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
ICE by @amybrady.bsky.social was specifically designed for ME and MY interests. Loved every part of this book.
The cover for Amy Brady's book Ice: From Mixed Drinks to Skating Rinks—A Cool History of a Hot Commodity, which is bright blue with a photo of an iceman carrying a block of ice with a giant pair of tongs
August 13, 2025 at 4:25 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Love to exude evil energy while in parking lots
Selfie of me sitting in the driver's seat of my car while parked in a parking lot late at night
July 5, 2025 at 4:11 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Checked my email and then put my phone back in my pocket without locking the screen, thus drafting and accidentally sending the following reply to an HR worker who had sent me a rejection for a job
The email says: T x. ,. D (^^) And then a cartoon image of a caterpillar telling a mushroom "let's go out" followed by a spiderweb full of bugs whose bodies are spelling out "help"
July 4, 2025 at 10:31 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
I thought nature was supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the world and yet I so severely outmug it? Most embarrassing loss since Wisconsin vs BYU if you ask me #MarchMadness #nature
Selfie of me with a cloudy blue sky and pine trees behind me Selfie of me with Badlands National Park in the background. Blue sky and craggy brown rock formations in the distance
March 23, 2025 at 10:28 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Found an ancient artifact in my classroom today, an old Expo marker. In contrast to the newer ones, it is not low odor, and I forgot how much these used to smell before they changed the formula. Accidentally poisoned the air of the classroom!!!
Two orange Expo dry erase markers. One newer on top that is low odor, and one older on the bottom that smells so bad omg
January 24, 2025 at 3:35 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Why aren't more people on here talking about the extremely fucked up and very captivating REJECTION by Tony Tulathimutte??? I finished it last night and never want to stop talking about it!!!
The cover for Tony Tulathimutte's REJECTION, which is just the title in yellow on a pink/purple and green abstract color background.
January 24, 2025 at 3:19 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
I finally saw Nosferatu. It was just okay! And that's okay! Please enjoy this scary emoji my phone suggested as I was typing my review.
Demented emoji my phone suggested to include in this message. It's the 100 emoji with the zeroes turned into laugh-crying faces. Very evil.
January 15, 2025 at 3:10 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Prince of snow and pine needles
Selfie of me among the branches of a pine tree. I am dusted with snow
January 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Reminds me of this handmade ornament I saw last year
A wooden snowman ornament whose eyes are pointing in two different directions and whose mouth is an upside crescent of panic
December 24, 2024 at 9:51 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Rocks covered in spiky icy spray
December 24, 2024 at 3:05 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Frozen lake core
A breaker wall at Lake Erie covered with ice. A giant set of blocks on top warns of danger and urges people to keep off. A seagull slices through the air. Frozen sand that looks like rocks with tiny icicles hanging off. The ice is gritty because it's full of sand A curving river framed by ice cuts through the sand and pours into the lake A clump of frozen sand and rocks juts up from the beach
December 23, 2024 at 8:03 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
My new obsession is Hippley Gardens, a collection of garden landscapes and small buildings the owner constructed on his private land
A small wooden shed called The Storybook Barn, which houses a lending library A stone cottage building with old English manor-style windows A set of intentionally unfinished "ruins" that look like the corner of a brick house. One window has panes in it, and the other is empty. There are some benches Three-dimensional sculptures of an elderly couple, made of brick
December 23, 2024 at 2:33 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Disney actually offered me $1 billion to use my hair as a reference model for their next animated prince but I turned them down when I found out they cast my nemesis Michael Buble as the voice actor. Not today, Michael!!!!
Selfie of me with my hair looking swooshy. I accidentally look really angry which I guess is appropriate for talking about my nemesis
December 22, 2024 at 2:42 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Winter woods
Trees and shrubs lightly dusted with snow. A still, gray river reflects the trees. A different angle of trees and shrubs lightly dusted with snow. A still, gray river reflects the trees.
December 20, 2024 at 4:53 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Today I filled in as Tippi Hedren's understudy in THE BIRDS
December 20, 2024 at 12:31 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
The mug shortage in Minneapolis finally ended yesterday all thanks to @ericraglin1992.bsky.social
Selfie of me and Eric in front of a stone bridge, the muddy Mississippi, and some trees Selfie of me and Eric in front of a stone bridge, the muddy Mississippi, and some trees
September 22, 2024 at 3:14 AM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Also very excited for my story "The Bread and the Bird" to appear in the most recent issue of ELLIPSIS!
Cover of the newest issue of ellipsis, a literary magazine. Features a painting of a shirtless person facing toward the ocean and playing with sand. Waves are rolling in Excerpt from my story. Can't fit full text before alt description text limit, but here's what does fit: When we pull into the small plaza’s parking lot, I see that the lights are already on at the new bakery two doors down. “Go, go,” my father wheezes. “We can’t open late.” I don’t wait for him to make his slow exit from the car. My arms tangle in the seatbelt as I rush to get out. I wash my hands in the kitchen, look up at the clock: I’m running behind. Before I took over most of the operations on his behalf, my father was never concerned with punctuality. But that was before he had competition: “I do love your pita,” a customer said to my father last week, a white woman with a Midwestern accent, “but I was almost late for work last time I stopped here. The new bakery doesn’t have that problem.” Now, we get here two hours early—today notwithstanding.
July 16, 2024 at 9:33 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Very excited that my story "Orange Blossom" appears in the latest issue of FOGLIFTER with this amazing cover art!
Cover of the new issue of Foglifter, a literary journal. Cover features a naked transmasc angel posed upside down on a black starry background. An excerpt of the story, but the full text of the image is too long for the alt text. Here's what I could fit: The man behind us at the spelling bee coughed loudly. He tapped me on the shoulder, his folding chair creaking as he leaned forward to whisper that I was wearing too much perfume. “My asthma is very sensitive,” he said. I was startled by his comment, felt a pang of fear. No one had noticed the tangy smell, not yet, and I wanted it to stay that way. “I’m not wearing perfume,” I said. My son Andrew walked to the microphone and spelled inesculent like he’d grown up saying the word. Clapping was not permitted, but I clicked my shoes together quietly when the bell didn’t ding. “What did that guy say to you?” my wife Cynthia said. I waved her off, and in the brief pause while another student walked to the mic, I ran to the bathroom. There were only six kids left, including Andrew, so I hoped I wouldn’t miss his next word.
July 16, 2024 at 9:27 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Me when I'm dead and haunting the bookstore
The ghost emoji carrying a stack of books
February 20, 2024 at 7:40 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Me when the books are hitting too good
The stack of books emoji but blurry to signify disorientation and dizziness
February 20, 2024 at 7:39 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Me when I see books
The heart eyes emoji except the hearts have been replaced with the stack of books emoji
February 20, 2024 at 7:38 PM
jonathanwlodarski.bsky.social
Happy release day to @brandiwells.bsky.social and their novel THE CLEANER!!! I've been excited about this book for months and months and now it's finally here!
A copy of Brandi Wells's novel The Cleaner
January 30, 2024 at 11:42 PM