I can't read or hear her name without Helter Skelter starting to playing in my head. Helen Skelton, she's coming down fast.

Definitely. I didn't mean that a marathon is a piece of piss, but that celebs are making everyone's hard won lifetime achievements look shit. Izzard is the worst for it - runs like 2 a day. Stop showing off and making everyone look bad.

Noooo, they're already writing all the books (or pretending to and getting ghost writers in).

This is my left forearm. Does this mean I'm banned from Westminster Abbey?

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The BBC who slated Corbyn as a terrorist sympathiser anti-Semitic danger to all, but also a bumbling Last of the Summer Wine silly old fool in a jumper. That BBC. Bit too Left wing, apparently.

Next time, maybe I'll shout Oh Bondage, up yours! to see if he's been waiting for a cue all this time.

There's a man I sometimes encounter on bike rides who plays a saxophone on his own on an otherwise deserted bit of post industrial waste ground. It seems like a trap though, so I never stop.