Jess Zimmerman
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jesszimmerman.com
Jess Zimmerman
@jesszimmerman.com
9K followers 630 following 5.6K posts
Brief elaboration of a tube.
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jesszimmerman.com
As usual I am only interested in engaging with these things for Taskmaster reasons
Zohran font on a blue background reading “no stars for naughty boys”
November 9, 2025 at 12:30 AM
jesszimmerman.com
I forgot you were a fragrance nerd, I feel I must alert YOU to these samples Justin got me
October 28, 2025 at 11:32 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Haven’t mentioned this on here because I’m seriously curtailing my Bluesky time but I’m talking to Amber Sparks about her novel at the uptown Strand tonight, come through!
Picture of me and Amber and her book Happy People Don’t Live Here, Columbus Ave Strand 7 pm
October 28, 2025 at 11:31 AM
jesszimmerman.com
I mean!!
Gary Oldman looking extremely Harrycore, though minus the facial hair situation, in one of the very few stills from Slow Horses where nobody has a phone pressed to their ear
September 24, 2025 at 4:17 AM
jesszimmerman.com
I definitely identify as a Roast Beef but I just checked my Achewood reaction memes folder and it’s almost evenly split with a bias towards Ray. This is definitely the one I use most often
Ray from Achewood saying “because I pay attention. I PAY ATTENTION. You didn’t know I was paying attention because you weren’t PAYING ATTENTION.”
September 5, 2025 at 12:01 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Just occurred to me I should have done this one
Tweet from @wolfpupy: “a lot of people say to me, things, but I am to busy brushing my hair and being a beautiful model. That’s what life is all about”
September 2, 2025 at 7:38 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
Sign pasted to gray brick wall reading “Wake up!!! We are slaves of the space lizards”
September 2, 2025 at 5:43 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Would this do
Restaurant called The Crazy Little Greek
September 1, 2025 at 11:41 AM
jesszimmerman.com
What is this, a Live song
NYT headine “Strangers Come Together to Deliver Baby Girl at Burning Man.” Rolling Stone headline “Man Found Dead in Suspected Homicide at Burning Man”
August 31, 2025 at 11:52 PM
jesszimmerman.com
Here’s mine
Julian Clary on Taskmaster saying “I’m bearing up under the strain, thank you.”
August 25, 2025 at 10:47 PM
jesszimmerman.com
Poem Joe Brainard, 1942-1994 Sometimes everything seems so oh, I don’t know.
August 24, 2025 at 3:16 PM
jesszimmerman.com
I will defend Rehoboth to the death but this whole section is 🧑‍🍳 💋
A tourist pronouncing it “DuPONT” Seeing a movie where a character takes the metro to Georgetown Overhearing someone say they were flying out of “Reagan”
August 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
jesszimmerman.com
I need you guys to know about this German popcorn
A bag of popcorn called Bussy Pop.
August 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
jesszimmerman.com
My best one though was Apple Martini
A very sweet looking chihuahua in a leopard print pet carrier.
August 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Happened on mine once!! Sadly phone cameras weren’t as good then
A Great Dane sitting in an airplane seat and looking back calmly at a little blonde child who’s clearly fascinated with it.
August 7, 2025 at 3:17 AM
jesszimmerman.com
I also went on a roof this week but nobody talks about it when I do it I guess
Photo from a bar on the roof of a parking garage, showing a white plaster statue of a woman plus the view over Berlin. Photo from a bar on the roof of a parking garage, showing the view over Berlin. Photo from a bar on the roof of a parking garage, showing a garden and a bunch of weird flamingo statues plus a bit of the view over Berlin.
August 5, 2025 at 9:05 PM
jesszimmerman.com
Sian Gibson hugging Greg Davies at the end of Taskmaster series 8. She does not even come up to his collarbone.
August 5, 2025 at 4:30 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Tumblr user saying “Wait hold on gotta look something up” and then “ok yeah this is funny.”
July 31, 2025 at 3:28 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Computer… enhance
A man and a medium size grey-brown pit bull playing catch. The man is crouching and has just released a tennis ball. The dog has been caught in the middle of changing direction very fast to go after the ball. When you zoom in more on the dog it becomes clear that she looks absolutely deranged, like her skeleton has continued to go in one direction while her skin changed course. Zooming in on the dog’s face shows that her eyes are pointed in two different directions and she has a horrible toothy mouth like a demonic Labubu.
July 23, 2025 at 1:53 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Goes nicely with this map feature my husband/DM insisted was a “ziggurat”
Drawing, on graph paper, of what is CLEARLY a boob
July 8, 2025 at 8:53 PM
jesszimmerman.com
I buy this and also submit the Australian comedian Tom Cashman
Tom Cashman, a white man wearing a suit and no tie with a whistle around his neck. He is making a facial expression that’s a combination of sort of smiling while hiding your teeth, and having a mouth full of water.
July 6, 2025 at 2:49 AM
jesszimmerman.com
The “quotation marks” get progressively “more disturbing”
The Hansa Story Artisan hand sew the animals "inside out", an old world tradition that results in the mininization of seams, and their bodies are carefully "sculpted" to create "musculature" and "features" like movement in a walking or sitting position that are unique to each creature. On average, there are 42 separate pieces required to make each animal, that must be combined by a team of truly creative artists to create the distinctly realistic features that characterize HANSA animals. (Some animals have as many as 240 different parts!) Each animal is individually hand sewn, to give it a unique "personality", there are more than 860 different fabrics and man-made furs from which the "coat" and "hides" are made, along with over 6000 sets of different eyes, whiskers, claws, noses, and related accessories allocated for creating these wonderful plush animals. Stuffing emphasizes careful attention to the placement of the highest quality man-made materials. When you hold these wonderfully "life-like" animals, you will see and feel HANSA's emphasis on quality, which is a result of careful attention to design, custom fabric selection, cutting, sewing, stuffing, eye placement, feature creation, framing, air brushing and finishing. Since each animal is hand sewn, there will be slight variations in appearance.
June 30, 2025 at 2:11 AM
jesszimmerman.com
oh no it’s the same back and forth it just ends with this
Utility pole 6 from Fire Walk with Me
June 29, 2025 at 2:24 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Still from The Simpsons: the whole classroom looking expectantly at Bart and telling him to “say the line.”
June 25, 2025 at 1:01 AM
jesszimmerman.com
Storygraph persisstently says that I mainly read books under 300 pages, what does a guy have to do
Pie chart from the Storygraph app showing 50% books 300-499 pages, 7% 500 pages and up, and 43% under 300 pages.
June 23, 2025 at 2:08 AM