Jordan Beaumont Anderson
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jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Jordan Beaumont Anderson
@jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
140 followers 310 following 1.2K posts
Author of Letterboxd's #1 Review of Porky's. Writer/Designer/Dilettante. All your crying don't do no good. Come down off the cross, we can use the wood.
https://letterboxd.com/QuantumPotPie/
Posts Replies Media Videos
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c1bZLp
A ★★★★½ review of Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
[very David Letterman voice] Give me as many zooms on Josh O'Connor's face you got!
boxd.it
December 12, 2025 at 11:14 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c19idZ
A ★★★½ review of The Dinner Plan (2025)
Visceral, arch, and Zach Cherry sings a little song to himself about cheese.
boxd.it
December 12, 2025 at 8:26 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 12, 2025 at 8:06 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 12, 2025 at 8:05 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c11zV9
A ★½ review of Merv (2025)
A lackluster man-child and a joy-allergic scold rekindle a tepid romance because they allow an overgrown rat that eats its own feces to determine their futures.
boxd.it
December 12, 2025 at 3:14 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 10, 2025 at 2:21 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
they're making a sex purge
December 10, 2025 at 10:55 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bZVxer
A ★★ review of Christy (2025)
Get this: the Ben Foster character ends up being a bad dude. Who'd a thunk? Bland and bleak; a bowl of fat-free plain yogurt. Might've worked if boxing was tit-based.
boxd.it
December 10, 2025 at 9:40 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 10, 2025 at 9:37 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
seriously, as adults, why hasn't the bush come back?
December 9, 2025 at 3:40 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
we need to be honest with one another: saffron is red thread used to make stuff taste like herbaceous garbage
December 8, 2025 at 9:52 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
not a single person has wished me a happy honda days
December 8, 2025 at 5:30 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bYAh5H
A ★★ review of 825 Forest Road (2025)
You're right, no human being would stack books like this. - Dr. Peter Venkman
boxd.it
December 8, 2025 at 9:43 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 8, 2025 at 9:43 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bYo4wh
A ★★ review of Christmas at the Catnip Cafe (2025)
Not enough cats, way too much milquetoasty kvetching about condominium prices. So tepid I can't even make a pussy joke.
boxd.it
December 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bXLbdN
A ★ review of Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2025)
Whenever I watch these minor crimes against humanity, I think of my friend's birthday in the spring of '92 at Charles Entertainment Cheese's Influenza Infection Center & Pizzeria when the adults were ...
boxd.it
December 7, 2025 at 11:08 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
youtu.be/wFrqclcm8pU
Tom Waits - "Come On Up To The House"
YouTube video by Tom Waits
youtu.be
December 6, 2025 at 11:52 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 6, 2025 at 8:59 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bWR9YP
A ★★★ review of Jay Kelly (2025)
Scene after scene of glib shorthand and tawdry symbolism. Soft piano isn't the same as deep emotion, bickering isn't revelation, silence isn't regret, dead-eyed stares aren't introspection. But, it's ...
boxd.it
December 6, 2025 at 5:44 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 6, 2025 at 5:42 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 6, 2025 at 4:50 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Sinners & Wake Up Dead Man would be a killer double bill
December 4, 2025 at 7:25 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
youtu.be/B3nzvmov5KU
Road to Nowhere (2003 Remaster)
YouTube video by Talking Heads - Topic
youtu.be
December 4, 2025 at 5:43 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bVDGnF
A ★ review of Oh. What. Fun. (2025)
An economically advantaged matriarch psychically collapses like an unbalanced wheelbarrow full of body parts because decades of emotional coddling and silent sacrifice finally blows up in her artifici...
boxd.it
December 4, 2025 at 6:55 AM