JayD1313
@jayd1313.bsky.social
Boring Accountant Guy. Owner of 2 small businesses. Loves sport, and finding laughs in everything.
Jets Bears Storm
Jets Bears Storm
I remember when I used to go on the bus with my dad and he would tell me to say I was under five so he wouldn't have to pay the fare.
In the end, I decided to walk to work.
In the end, I decided to walk to work.
December 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I remember when I used to go on the bus with my dad and he would tell me to say I was under five so he wouldn't have to pay the fare.
In the end, I decided to walk to work.
In the end, I decided to walk to work.
I had a horrible, scary dream last night. I dreamt I was Gloria Gaynor.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
December 18, 2025 at 6:57 PM
I had a horrible, scary dream last night. I dreamt I was Gloria Gaynor.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
Hyphenated.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.
December 17, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Hyphenated.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.
Non-hyphenated.
The irony.
Words of advice.
Never brush your teeth with your left hand.
A toothbrush works much better.
Never brush your teeth with your left hand.
A toothbrush works much better.
December 16, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Words of advice.
Never brush your teeth with your left hand.
A toothbrush works much better.
Never brush your teeth with your left hand.
A toothbrush works much better.
I play music in my barn for my horses. Their favorite song is the by Beatles - Hay Chewed.
December 15, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I play music in my barn for my horses. Their favorite song is the by Beatles - Hay Chewed.
I am thinking of moving to Theory.
Because in Theory, everything goes well.
Because in Theory, everything goes well.
December 13, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I am thinking of moving to Theory.
Because in Theory, everything goes well.
Because in Theory, everything goes well.
I’m drawing a blank when trying to think of ALL the Disco puns I could post here, so please help me...
Seriously. It takes a Village, People.
Seriously. It takes a Village, People.
December 11, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I’m drawing a blank when trying to think of ALL the Disco puns I could post here, so please help me...
Seriously. It takes a Village, People.
Seriously. It takes a Village, People.
Napoleon and his wife are buried immediately next to each other.
They're only a bone apart.....
They're only a bone apart.....
December 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Napoleon and his wife are buried immediately next to each other.
They're only a bone apart.....
They're only a bone apart.....
It's a Scientific Fact that people who sing together in the SAME group start wanting the SAME food.
They have an a choired taste.
They have an a choired taste.
December 9, 2025 at 8:10 PM
It's a Scientific Fact that people who sing together in the SAME group start wanting the SAME food.
They have an a choired taste.
They have an a choired taste.
I was going to have my driveway resurfaced but I backed out of it.
December 4, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I was going to have my driveway resurfaced but I backed out of it.
Got up today to find my doors smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone else's advent calendar?
December 2, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Got up today to find my doors smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone else's advent calendar?
I was proud to be the first dyslexic Santa booked in our town. Not sure if it was the trident or the horns but all the kids cried.
December 2, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I was proud to be the first dyslexic Santa booked in our town. Not sure if it was the trident or the horns but all the kids cried.
I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
November 30, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
I was like well dam.
I was like well dam.
November 29, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
I was like well dam.
I was like well dam.
I have an inferiority complex,
but it’s not a very good one.
but it’s not a very good one.
November 28, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have an inferiority complex,
but it’s not a very good one.
but it’s not a very good one.
I took my niece to see a double feature from Disney. She read the marquee and started crying. It read:
Finding Nemo
Frozen
Finding Nemo
Frozen
November 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I took my niece to see a double feature from Disney. She read the marquee and started crying. It read:
Finding Nemo
Frozen
Finding Nemo
Frozen
My brother's been sent to prison for excessively loud burping.
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
November 25, 2025 at 6:33 PM
My brother's been sent to prison for excessively loud burping.
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
Due to a spelling error, some of America's most dangerous criminals are currently waiting at Heathrow.
November 24, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Due to a spelling error, some of America's most dangerous criminals are currently waiting at Heathrow.
A ship from China carrying yo-yo’s sank 6 times yesterday.
November 23, 2025 at 7:50 PM
A ship from China carrying yo-yo’s sank 6 times yesterday.
Just ordered the vanity number plate
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
November 19, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Just ordered the vanity number plate
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
I used to go out with a woman called Sue Denim....then I realised it wasn't her real name.
November 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I used to go out with a woman called Sue Denim....then I realised it wasn't her real name.
The guy who owned Hoyt’s Cinemas has sadly died.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
November 17, 2025 at 7:29 PM
The guy who owned Hoyt’s Cinemas has sadly died.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up on their dreams and got real jobs.
November 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up on their dreams and got real jobs.
Wimbledon have revealed plans to honour Sir Andy Murray with a statue at the All England Club.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
November 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Wimbledon have revealed plans to honour Sir Andy Murray with a statue at the All England Club.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
IF I REFUSE TO DO CARDIO, DOES THAT COUNT AS RESISTANCE TRAINING
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
IF I REFUSE TO DO CARDIO, DOES THAT COUNT AS RESISTANCE TRAINING