Pinned
Jankus
@jankus12.bsky.social
· Mar 4
Sucking some milk right out of the cow's dick!
Me to a group of shoppers in Food Lion: "So here's the thing."
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
November 13, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Me to a group of shoppers in Food Lion: "So here's the thing."
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
Watching Chicago Fire and seeing how many rubber bands I can stretch over my nutsack!
November 13, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Watching Chicago Fire and seeing how many rubber bands I can stretch over my nutsack!
My beloved uncle (Dennis "Shit Ass" Jenkins) just tried to suck my dick and played it off like he was going for a penny!!!!!
November 11, 2025 at 2:03 AM
My beloved uncle (Dennis "Shit Ass" Jenkins) just tried to suck my dick and played it off like he was going for a penny!!!!!
Maybe my hog was the one cranking ME all along!!!
November 10, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Maybe my hog was the one cranking ME all along!!!
Me: "Is this some kind of sex thing? Because I'm not doing this if it involves someone penetrating my feeble asshole!"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
November 4, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Me: "Is this some kind of sex thing? Because I'm not doing this if it involves someone penetrating my feeble asshole!"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
My grandpa showed up today for Thanksgiving. He's such a stupid fucking dumb dipshit.
November 3, 2025 at 2:22 AM
My grandpa showed up today for Thanksgiving. He's such a stupid fucking dumb dipshit.
If I'm such a "pervert," why do I always make time to tip the Walmart greeters before heading to the garden section to crank my dick?!?
November 2, 2025 at 3:34 AM
If I'm such a "pervert," why do I always make time to tip the Walmart greeters before heading to the garden section to crank my dick?!?
Pissing all over my house to make sure guests know that this is MY HOUSE
October 30, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Pissing all over my house to make sure guests know that this is MY HOUSE
Trying to think of ways to cut my dick off without alarming the wife!
October 28, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Trying to think of ways to cut my dick off without alarming the wife!
Playing the test video game consoles at Walmart and destroying a different part of the store every time I lose!!!!
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
October 28, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Playing the test video game consoles at Walmart and destroying a different part of the store every time I lose!!!!
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
The wrinkles of my ballsack??????????!!!!!!!
October 26, 2025 at 11:56 PM
The wrinkles of my ballsack??????????!!!!!!!
The tip of my dick???????!!!!????
October 25, 2025 at 2:59 AM
The tip of my dick???????!!!!????
The crack of my ass?????????????
October 23, 2025 at 12:50 AM
The crack of my ass?????????????
Grandpa keeps breaking into my house and pulling my ass hair with tweezers!!!
October 14, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Grandpa keeps breaking into my house and pulling my ass hair with tweezers!!!
Out in the streets tonight protesting assless chaps! You don't need to wear pants if you want to get your ass out! LEGALIZE FULL NUDITY FROM THE ASS DOWN!
October 11, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Out in the streets tonight protesting assless chaps! You don't need to wear pants if you want to get your ass out! LEGALIZE FULL NUDITY FROM THE ASS DOWN!
My company got bought out, and now I apparently have to touch a guy's dick and squeeze his ballsack every week if I want to keep my pension!!!!!!!!
October 9, 2025 at 11:32 PM
My company got bought out, and now I apparently have to touch a guy's dick and squeeze his ballsack every week if I want to keep my pension!!!!!!!!
An ICE agent just tried to give me a handjob to completion!!!
October 8, 2025 at 4:53 AM
An ICE agent just tried to give me a handjob to completion!!!
Might do a key bump and shoot potatoes at my neighbor!
October 3, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Might do a key bump and shoot potatoes at my neighbor!
October 2, 2025 at 2:43 AM
I apparently only have two more days to get square with my bookie before he "sends his goons to fuck my ass and steal all my Yugioh cards!!!!!"
September 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I apparently only have two more days to get square with my bookie before he "sends his goons to fuck my ass and steal all my Yugioh cards!!!!!"
Alexa: look up videos of that porn star who looks like my mom. I know she looks like my biological mother, but a fat ass is a fat ass, Alexa, and I'm bricked the fuck up!
September 26, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Alexa: look up videos of that porn star who looks like my mom. I know she looks like my biological mother, but a fat ass is a fat ass, Alexa, and I'm bricked the fuck up!
Throwing pumpkins at my neighbor's stupid fucking kids!
September 25, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Throwing pumpkins at my neighbor's stupid fucking kids!
Final Destination, except instead of dying, everyone eventually cums in their pants and gets in big trouble!
#HorrorMovies
#Ideas
#Hollywood
#HorrorMovies
#Ideas
#Hollywood
September 24, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Final Destination, except instead of dying, everyone eventually cums in their pants and gets in big trouble!
#HorrorMovies
#Ideas
#Hollywood
#HorrorMovies
#Ideas
#Hollywood
LIFE HACK: If you wipe your ass with your hand, you don't have to buy toilet paper anymore!!!
September 18, 2025 at 1:46 AM
LIFE HACK: If you wipe your ass with your hand, you don't have to buy toilet paper anymore!!!