I do appreciate the people who serve me food that isn’t desserts. ;-)

Also, pie crust must be made with BUTTER.

The pastry chef teaching the class said that you can make fancier-looking pie crusts with shortening, but the plates come back to the kitchen with crust left on them.

People eat every bite of delicious butter pie crust!

Recipes to cook things are full of nonsense like "simmer until reduced", and "chop 1 onion" -- HAVE YOU SEEN ONIONS?!

Baking recipes say things like "14 grams of yeast", or "bake to an internal temperature of 160°F".

ONLY ONE OF THESE IS PRECISE AND REPRODUCIBLE!

I took baking classes back in Portland. You cook the apple slices with the other filling ingredients on the stove until they're soft and it's starting to thicken. Then assemble the pie and bake it! You don't end up with a gap between the apples and the top crust, and you don't risk it being soupy. ✅

I once made a pumpkin pie from a Cooks Illustrated recipe that included maple syrup and candied yams that was tasty, but it was WAY too much work.

I endorse berry pie.

Chocolate cream pie is Just Wrong. Make a flourless chocolate tort instead!

Peel, cut into chunks, boil. Drain, add salt and lime juice.

To his credit, he sheepishly told me that was a good idea.

The user was down the hall. The Product Owner was 2,000 miles away.

I suggested showing the app to the user. The dev said, “It matches the spec.”

I brought the end user over. She pointed out that they didn’t have the ID # the spec called for — used a different one.

The dev fixed it.

I like to make Lazy Applesauce.

Don’t bother to peel. Chop coarsely, removing the cores. Toss into large stock pot and cook for a long time. When soft, attack with an immersion blender.

Put done in the fridge and the rest in the freezer.

What is the correct Pie Take?

I made these, and they were all delicious.

These spirits have not delivered any useful prophesies.

I heard a show on the radio about parents accidentally forgetting a child in the backseat with horrific, heartbreaking results.

Are you in the military? Are you concerned that the chain is command is fucking up and giving illegal orders? Call the GI Rights Hotline 1-877-447-4487
girightshotline.org