Heavy for a Monday morning but reality is reality.

I’m hoping my job can give me a little bit of grace enough to at least keep my job and prove that this will no longer be a factor. I’m literally shaking right now and I don’t know what I’ll do if lose it.

I think it feel so big because this is the first job that has ever treated me like a human being. I like this job, and I care about doing the right thing. That’s why I self reported.

This is the most beautiful card in this game omg

It was so goooooooooooood

Also today I made a cake and it was very good

Anyways have a nice day lol

Conversely it’s also pretty damaging and very isolating to realize that people who say things like “you’re one of my closest friends” or “I care about you more than you know” to me seemingly only meant that in times where having this relationship with me was convenient for them, if even at all lol

I stuck to my guns and would you believe I haven’t heard from 95% of those people at ALL since I started this?? It’s kind of eye-opening and a bit vindicating to realize once again I was CORRECT in being the only person actually putting any effort into these relationships.

I asked myself why I was putting all of this energy into maintaining relationships with people who seemingly didn’t give a shit about me. At first I thought I was just being neurotic, then it turned into feeling selfish about having these thoughts and feelings.