A probably

I'm shoving a jar of mayonnaise in each of his horns.

I have no horse in this race but I do like the linework on the right better.

incredible that for big companies, this is gonna be considered the 'uncompromising take'

I'll throw my hat in the ring but I'll be 100% honest I'd probably give the minion to one of my mates.

If I'm idling, either I just got done doing something & haven't bothered moving yet or I'm in an inn.

Happy birthday!