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jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Jake
@jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
350 followers 380 following 390 posts
just a dude with a teenage kid, a pile of cats, & ✨️opinions✨️

sometimes you get cats.
sometimes you get politics.
sometimes you just get unhinged randomness.
it's like roulette but fun.
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jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Today's mood.
Video game screenshot of a character in black medieval-style armor between two freestanding walls. They are facing away from the camera, walking along a cobblestone road with rubble on either side, towards a large castle on an island in the background. Text overlay reads "lore update: I'm going back to bed" in all caps
December 3, 2025 at 12:33 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Anyways. here's my cat doing cat stuff.
a grey kitty lays on his back looking up at the camera with bright green eyes and his fuzzy little paws in the air. he is sprawling across one of my college textbooks, making it rather difficult to study.
November 30, 2025 at 4:16 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
my study buddy is cuter than yours 😂
look at his lil paws 🥺

#CatsOfBluesky
#FrankiePanky
#OrangeCats
a white and orange cat sleeps on a blue kitty bed by my desk with his paws & tail all tangled together ❤️ 😴
November 10, 2025 at 4:27 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
a ginkgo tree in a splendor of gold against a bright blue autumn sky. the sun is peeking through the leaves, making them glow.
November 5, 2025 at 4:55 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
My two closest and dearest friends are people I have never met in person.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that online friendship isn't valid.

Plz enjoy an entirely unrelated but astonishingly adorable Frankie. As a treat.
a mostly white cat with orange patches and a very cute pink nose is curled up like a cinnamon roll. he is very dumb, very sweet, and very much the best babby cat. even though you can't hear it, he's purring like an outboard motor at full throttle.
November 1, 2025 at 4:40 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Mister Biscuits wants me to remind you that your record for surviving the bad days is 100%
a grey cat sits primly on a striped blanket
October 30, 2025 at 10:35 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
it's apparently #NationalCatDay so here's Mister Biscuits being derpy
a grey kitty sits awkwardly on top of a bookshelf under a window
October 29, 2025 at 8:41 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
The world is terrible and we're going to have to work hard to right it. But at least there are cats and books and comrades and other delightful things.
#CatsOfBluesky
#Resist
a close-up portrait of a grey kitty face. Biscuits has green eyes, a black nose, and lots of silver whiskers. He has a skeptical look on his face and is sitting atop a half wall.
October 22, 2025 at 4:48 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
This is not the behavior of a man who plans to leave peacefully in ~3 years.

...or at all for that matter
A grey-scale rendering of the proposed ballroom. It is a blocky, rectangular building sprouting from where the east wing currently sits. It dwarfs the existing white house.
October 21, 2025 at 4:55 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Today he's tearing down the east wing of the white house for another vanity project that desecrates a historic landmark. Bx no matter what he does he can't escape his own self-loathing & feelings of inferiority.
A view of the east wing of the white house. The lawn appears to have been ripped up; only bare soil is visible. Plywood sheets cover the exterior fence. There's a gaping hole in the building with an excavator continuing to rip down parts of it. Several people in reflective vests and hard hats stand nearby observing.
October 21, 2025 at 4:55 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
my daughter's favorite soup is the one my grandmother used to make for me as a wee sprog. Corn chowder with chicken and bacon. while my daughter and my grandmother never met, this soup connects them, through me 😌🍛
two bowls of chowder sit on a table with a jar of green onions behind them
October 15, 2025 at 3:28 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
Man, everything has just been a lot lately. So here's a kitty and a reminder that rest is resistance too. We'll get through this.
a white cat with orange spots sits atop a dresser, bathed in blue light, looking up towards the ceiling. there's a wooden door and a bookshelf behind him, and a display shelf with led lights and assorted small decorative items on it. The kitties name is Frankie and he's just such a happy sweet baby.
September 30, 2025 at 1:47 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
my best friend lives in Portland. sent me this picture earlier today. I'm planning on moving to Portland when I graduate next spring.
September 29, 2025 at 4:33 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
precious bb has never had a single thought and that's just fine 🥰🥹
September 20, 2025 at 3:20 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
I want to know what your favorite dinosaur/prehistoric creature is. Just bx we're (allegedly) adults now doesn't mean we have to give up our favorite dinosaurs! Mine is an ankylosaurus!
Live Science animal fact page featuring ankylosaurus. They lived 65 to 75 million years ago, during the Cretaceous period. They were about 35 feet long, only 4ish feet tall, and up to 6 feet wide! They could weigh as much as 6 and a half tonnes! They primarily grazed on low-growth plants. It was armored with huge knobs and bony plates known as scutes. The tail featured flat triangular scales clustered at the end of the spine, and it's theorized that they used this club-like appendage to defend themselves.
August 16, 2025 at 6:17 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
near Leicester/Forestdale!
my favorite place on earth 🌎 😍
August 4, 2025 at 2:06 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
is there anything better than waking up in a cozy bed on a quiet morning with a cat purring on your shoulder? 🥰🥹
#CatsOfBluesky
#MorningMeow
#Caturday
a close-up picture of a silvery grey kitty face. he's doing the thing where they turn their head upside-down and smoosh the ears. he has a black nose, grey whiskers, and one tiny white fangy visible. he looks very peaceful and content.
July 19, 2025 at 12:44 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
July 19, 2025 at 4:41 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
How's about a recipe instead of a gif?
Alt text has the full recipe and an alt version!
Jake's Nutella Banana Cream Pie Ingredients: 8oz Mascarpone 3/4 c Nutella 5 sm bananas, sliced 1 sm packet banana pudding mix 2 c heavy whipping cream 2 tbsp chopped toasted hazelnuts (I like to add a handful of mini chocolate chips too) any 9 inch crust (I prefer a graham cracker crust) Directions: Thoroughly mix Nutella and mascarpone, then spoon into crust and spread evenly. Top with sliced bananas (I usually line the crust with bananas before filling too) Beat heavy cream until it just begins to thicken, add pudding mix, beat until stiff peaks form. Spread or pipe whipped pudding on top of Nutella filling, top with hazelnuts and/or chocolate chips. Chill for an hour, slice and enjoy! Alt version: Make a 13×9 pan of brownies, cool completely, top with bananas, spread Nutella mixture, sprinkle hazelnuts, then use a large star tip to pipe whipped pudding, top with sprinkles, chill for an hour, and slice into bars.
July 9, 2025 at 10:35 PM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
I also love your cats so much. and my cats.

Actually, I just love all the cats, all the time.
this one is my favorite though. A grey cat with green eyes looks lovingly up at me while "helping" me write an essay.
July 7, 2025 at 5:16 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
one more #Caturday post! sliding in with seconds to go!
a grey cat sleeps soundly under the clipboard with my class notes
July 6, 2025 at 4:00 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
oh, right, it's #Caturday!
a black and white screen capture from a security camera of a beautiful young mama raccoon eating out of the food dish on my back steps
July 6, 2025 at 3:59 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
IT HAS FAILED!!!
July 3, 2025 at 4:40 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
concentration camps are violations of basic human rights, international law, and decency.
#StopICE
#HumanRights
#MAGA is the new nazi party
#ICE is their gestapo
top half: German concentration camp bottom half: "alligator Alcatraz" the pictures show nearly identical prison camps featuring bunk beds and bare floors. The top pic shows a wooden roof building with small high windows and rows of bunks. The bottom pic shows a large tent structure over chain link cages surrounding rows of bunks. both images show either historic or contemporary blatant human rights and international law violations.
July 2, 2025 at 1:13 AM
jake-needs-coffee.bsky.social
"coping skills" with the bestie 😅😂🤣
a screen shot of a discord chat between the author (Jake) and his bestie (Blue): Blue:I had a therapist tell me my plans should be more productive once, but he didn't like it when I suggested a plan for compressing all humans into bricks to build a wall. Jake: well, that's because your plan was **re**ductive, not *pro*ductive! Blue: It's all about building things! Jake: building a better future, one people brick at a time!
July 2, 2025 at 12:11 AM