Richard Roberts
@inscrutablemachine.bsky.social
Writer of the Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain series and a bunch of books that are awesome but don't sell as well. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Richard-Roberts/author/B005XOLGVU
I tell a lot of funny stories.
(He/Him)
I tell a lot of funny stories.
(He/Him)
Maybe more than anyone else I've known, you need to love and be loved.
December 15, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Maybe more than anyone else I've known, you need to love and be loved.
Funny story: Cheliceromancy is being debugged and should be available soon.
December 15, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Funny story: Cheliceromancy is being debugged and should be available soon.
people come to me
concerned
that I might
re
produce
concerned
that I might
re
produce
December 14, 2025 at 5:42 PM
people come to me
concerned
that I might
re
produce
concerned
that I might
re
produce
Funny story: Earth’s centipedes are doing fine. They just wish you all would clean your ears more often.
December 14, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Funny story: Earth’s centipedes are doing fine. They just wish you all would clean your ears more often.
I hope this is a sign that things are going well.
December 14, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I hope this is a sign that things are going well.
I assure you, ma'am, a pollution free solution to your tool using ape problem is being installed as we speak, and our innovative Sky Spiders™️are fun for dragons of all ages!
December 13, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I assure you, ma'am, a pollution free solution to your tool using ape problem is being installed as we speak, and our innovative Sky Spiders™️are fun for dragons of all ages!
Funny story: Planet Earth has used up its entire supply of spiders, but thanks to our lifetime contract, a fresh shipment is being shipped right now. As a loyal ecology, Earth has been upgraded to the newest, most advanced spiders specially designed for primate infestation conditions. Enjoy!
December 13, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Funny story: Planet Earth has used up its entire supply of spiders, but thanks to our lifetime contract, a fresh shipment is being shipped right now. As a loyal ecology, Earth has been upgraded to the newest, most advanced spiders specially designed for primate infestation conditions. Enjoy!
You Can Be A Cyborg When You're Older
December 12, 2025 at 7:17 PM
You Can Be A Cyborg When You're Older
It's called King of Dragon Pass.
December 10, 2025 at 9:03 PM
It's called King of Dragon Pass.
No no, it's a table FOR live animals! I think they serve tea every hour.
December 9, 2025 at 7:39 PM
No no, it's a table FOR live animals! I think they serve tea every hour.
The second wheel is the high gear and the third is overdrive.
December 7, 2025 at 10:42 PM
The second wheel is the high gear and the third is overdrive.
A cockroach crawled into her mouth once during one of her homeless periods and after that... NO. They horrify her. Beth absolutely can't stand them.
December 7, 2025 at 10:09 PM
A cockroach crawled into her mouth once during one of her homeless periods and after that... NO. They horrify her. Beth absolutely can't stand them.
Cockroaches. She can’t STAND cockroaches.
December 7, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Cockroaches. She can’t STAND cockroaches.
I did it once, saw what was happening, and started desperately wondering how I could get safely to somewhere I could clean it.
December 6, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I did it once, saw what was happening, and started desperately wondering how I could get safely to somewhere I could clean it.
Please tell me that's you in the 4th photo because that's some serious style going on there.
December 3, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Please tell me that's you in the 4th photo because that's some serious style going on there.
Ursula Vernon vs the Skoptsy King
December 3, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Ursula Vernon vs the Skoptsy King
I mean I just figured she would have an absolutely devastating bite, somewhere between ‘You will need stitches, guaranteed’ and ‘severed limb’.
December 3, 2025 at 4:52 AM
I mean I just figured she would have an absolutely devastating bite, somewhere between ‘You will need stitches, guaranteed’ and ‘severed limb’.
Okay, but isn't this like a REALLY REALLY dangerous threat from Beth?
December 3, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Okay, but isn't this like a REALLY REALLY dangerous threat from Beth?
Separately, I see your goal of modular body parts is coming along. Bravo. You are REALLY REALLY speeding through this development.
December 1, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Separately, I see your goal of modular body parts is coming along. Bravo. You are REALLY REALLY speeding through this development.
Hey, I don't kink shame pantsless rabbits.
Because she'll rip my head off, rummage around in my skull for the cyber implants, then throw it as a projectile when she finds out there aren't any, taking advantage of the stun to rip the NEXT fool's head off.
Because she'll rip my head off, rummage around in my skull for the cyber implants, then throw it as a projectile when she finds out there aren't any, taking advantage of the stun to rip the NEXT fool's head off.
December 1, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Hey, I don't kink shame pantsless rabbits.
Because she'll rip my head off, rummage around in my skull for the cyber implants, then throw it as a projectile when she finds out there aren't any, taking advantage of the stun to rip the NEXT fool's head off.
Because she'll rip my head off, rummage around in my skull for the cyber implants, then throw it as a projectile when she finds out there aren't any, taking advantage of the stun to rip the NEXT fool's head off.