Also holy shit since breaking my ankle my right leg shrunk to half the thickness of my left and it's really fucking with me.

8 weeks of covid into 6 weeks of broken ankle really did a number on my muscle mass and energy levels and it's been a mission getting back on the wagon

But we persevere 💪

So yeah, I'm feeling a bit shit and trapped and directionless and low energy and inadequate and I'm now ill again on top of that.

So yeah, I'm probably gonna be a bit distant for a while while I sort my own self-image out.

And yet there I was at a dinner in her remembrance and two of her kids are just tearing me down under the guise of banter.

And tbh I've kinda felt like absolute shit since then.

With no motivation to do anything.

Just magnifying and internalising any flaws I have about myself.

It just sucks.

It just makes me think about my Gran who just always supported me, was always interested in what I was doing.

The last thing she said to me before she died was that she was proud of me for the work I was doing, proud to have me as her granddaughter and to try and see the sun rise and set in Morocco

And one of my uncles is trying to run interference cos we like to joke about things but he's always supported me.

And Tamara's like wtf was that about?

And it just really killed my mood during an emotional time.

you're gonna snipe at me under the guise of banter and misgender me while doing it?

And my mum and one of my aunts just ripped the piss out of me for it.

Like I'm sitting there talking about how excited I am to try and do stuff and get things in order. And they're just using it to take shots.

And this aunt while doing it is saying "his sorry her".

Amy 😭

The whole thing reads to me like this racist piece of shit's actions were ignored for too long. Then when the Org finally grew a spine they did everything at once without following procedure.

The lesson? Fucking deal with bigots immediately and professionally. Don't bury your head in the sand.