Bonus points for "I am Pontifex".

Oh, that sucks, I'm sorry.

Not quite the same thing, but I saw BB King maybe three or four times in concert and I knew the last time was the last time. I left the show wishing he had someone in his life who could tell him it was okay to retire.

Damn. Should I ask?

(I live in fear of Eddie Vedder turning out to be a scumbag somehow. I really do.)

(That's magnificent, btw)

Knock over a shelf of action figures as a distraction

You've definitely got me there, though. At least now I know what I'm stealing if I ever find your house.

I too am in my late forties, sir. :-)

You just won this meme.

The leopards couldn’t have picked a better face to eat.

It looks like there’s some evidence for that, yes.

Clearly I need to be funnier.