The Journal of Immaterial Science
@immaterialscience.bsky.social
J. Immat. Sci. is an open-access, beer-reviewed journal, publishing satirical papers from all fields of science. Anyone can submit an article by downloading a template from our website: https://www.immaterialscience.org/
Pinned
Volume 4 hardcopies are finally here, use the following links if you want to order some.
If you’re in Germany: www.patreon.com/c/immaterial...
If you’re anywhere else: immaterialscience.etsy.com
If you’re in Germany: www.patreon.com/c/immaterial...
If you’re anywhere else: immaterialscience.etsy.com
Experimental Validation of Aggression Response in Hornet Colonies Following Direct Digital Insertion
PDF: immaterialscience.org/s/Hornets-re...
PDF: immaterialscience.org/s/Hornets-re...
November 22, 2025 at 10:10 AM
Experimental Validation of Aggression Response in Hornet Colonies Following Direct Digital Insertion
PDF: immaterialscience.org/s/Hornets-re...
PDF: immaterialscience.org/s/Hornets-re...
Statistical Proof That Binge-Watching VTubers Won’t Make You Happy (But Might Make You Fall In Love)
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/VTubers-GS...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/VTubers-GS...
November 14, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Statistical Proof That Binge-Watching VTubers Won’t Make You Happy (But Might Make You Fall In Love)
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/VTubers-GS...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/VTubers-GS...
Some Novel Necronuclear Mesospheric Mapping Methodology
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Nuclear-Su...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Nuclear-Su...
November 7, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Some Novel Necronuclear Mesospheric Mapping Methodology
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Nuclear-Su...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Nuclear-Su...
We measured the percentage of drivers who waved us while driving across a desert, and extrapolated some findings about vehicle choice and personal fulfilment.
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/fingering
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/fingering
October 31, 2025 at 4:35 AM
We measured the percentage of drivers who waved us while driving across a desert, and extrapolated some findings about vehicle choice and personal fulfilment.
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/fingering
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/fingering
Wierdyellowmushroomycin: Towards Good, Natural Drugs Instead of Bad, Synthetic Drugs Full of Chemicals
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Mushrooms....
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Mushrooms....
October 24, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Wierdyellowmushroomycin: Towards Good, Natural Drugs Instead of Bad, Synthetic Drugs Full of Chemicals
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Mushrooms....
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Mushrooms....
October 13, 2025 at 11:04 PM
The 2025 Noble Prize in Economics has been awarded to Elon Musk, for “saving ̶$̶2̶T̶ ̶$̶1̶T̶ ̶$̶2̶0̶6̶B̶ $32B in government spending”. By recognising that numbers in economics are basically pretend, musk has been able to maximise savings by moving a few decimal points around.
October 13, 2025 at 7:15 AM
The 2025 Noble Prize in Economics has been awarded to Elon Musk, for “saving ̶$̶2̶T̶ ̶$̶1̶T̶ ̶$̶2̶0̶6̶B̶ $32B in government spending”. By recognising that numbers in economics are basically pretend, musk has been able to maximise savings by moving a few decimal points around.
The 2025 Noble Prize for Peace has been awarded to Donald J. Trump for “for resolving protracted conflicts between Armenia and Azerbaijan, Israel and Iran, Switzerland and Bhutan, Sparta and Athens, and the Achaeans and Troy”.
October 10, 2025 at 10:43 PM
The 2025 Noble Prize for Peace has been awarded to Donald J. Trump for “for resolving protracted conflicts between Armenia and Azerbaijan, Israel and Iran, Switzerland and Bhutan, Sparta and Athens, and the Achaeans and Troy”.
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Literature has been awarded to Humanity, "for creating millennia's worth of original content with which to train generative AI". With creativity finished, our painters and poets can now return to the workforce as useful things like tax lawyers.
October 9, 2025 at 8:02 AM
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Literature has been awarded to Humanity, "for creating millennia's worth of original content with which to train generative AI". With creativity finished, our painters and poets can now return to the workforce as useful things like tax lawyers.
BREAKING: the 2025 Noble Prize in Chemistry has been awarded to DuPont, 3M and Daikin “for the development and deployment of PFAS: a family of infinitely sustainable chemicals”. As these now-ubiquitous chemicals never decompose, they can be reused for generations to come.
October 8, 2025 at 6:59 AM
BREAKING: the 2025 Noble Prize in Chemistry has been awarded to DuPont, 3M and Daikin “for the development and deployment of PFAS: a family of infinitely sustainable chemicals”. As these now-ubiquitous chemicals never decompose, they can be reused for generations to come.
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize in physics has been awarded to Xián Zhū Shǒu for “harnessing laser ablation and ultrasonic levitation to create a toaster with an ‘a bit less’ function". The ability to unburn toast will contribute far more to everyday life than gravitational waves.
October 7, 2025 at 6:36 AM
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize in physics has been awarded to Xián Zhū Shǒu for “harnessing laser ablation and ultrasonic levitation to create a toaster with an ‘a bit less’ function". The ability to unburn toast will contribute far more to everyday life than gravitational waves.
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Medicine has been awarded to RFK Jr. for “taking bold action to reduce life expectancies in the USA”. By undermining the health system, RFK Jr. has led the charge to combat the USA's aging population and prevent a pension crisis.
October 6, 2025 at 6:48 AM
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Medicine has been awarded to RFK Jr. for “taking bold action to reduce life expectancies in the USA”. By undermining the health system, RFK Jr. has led the charge to combat the USA's aging population and prevent a pension crisis.
A Balanced, Nuanced, and Comprehensive Review of Scientific English and its Relevance to Modern Scholarship
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...
October 2, 2025 at 11:10 AM
A Balanced, Nuanced, and Comprehensive Review of Scientific English and its Relevance to Modern Scholarship
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...
September 28, 2025 at 5:06 AM
This is what happens when you use genetic engineering for good, rather than just making fruit flies with legs for eyes.
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...
September 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
This is what happens when you use genetic engineering for good, rather than just making fruit flies with legs for eyes.
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...
September 13, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Hey everyone, it’s taken five years, but J. Immat. Sci. finally has its own website: immaterialscience.org. On it, you can find our our entire back-catalogue of articles (>140), links to buy hardcopies of our journals, the PDF versions, and our submission guidelines/templates.
September 12, 2025 at 8:46 AM
Hey everyone, it’s taken five years, but J. Immat. Sci. finally has its own website: immaterialscience.org. On it, you can find our our entire back-catalogue of articles (>140), links to buy hardcopies of our journals, the PDF versions, and our submission guidelines/templates.
The authors of this paper went above and beyond, and physically went to a mall to survey the public. Their question: do you like twizzlers?
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....
September 8, 2025 at 4:08 AM
The authors of this paper went above and beyond, and physically went to a mall to survey the public. Their question: do you like twizzlers?
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....
It’s that time of year again friends, and we want to hear your suggestions for the 2025 Noble Prizes in chemistry, physics, literature, medicine, peace and economics. Chuck your ideas in the comments.
September 4, 2025 at 10:18 AM
It’s that time of year again friends, and we want to hear your suggestions for the 2025 Noble Prizes in chemistry, physics, literature, medicine, peace and economics. Chuck your ideas in the comments.
Toward a Cosmologically Complete Astrology: Corrections Based on the Mapped Distribution of Dark Matter and Dark Energy
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology
August 29, 2025 at 6:50 AM
Toward a Cosmologically Complete Astrology: Corrections Based on the Mapped Distribution of Dark Matter and Dark Energy
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology
PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology
We recorded a cover of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team". We rewrote this melancholy ballad, originally about homelessness and substance abuse, to reflect the experience of doing a PhD, and somehow made it even more depressing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ7W...
The DPhil Team
YouTube video by The Journal of Immaterial Science
www.youtube.com
August 23, 2025 at 10:46 PM
We recorded a cover of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team". We rewrote this melancholy ballad, originally about homelessness and substance abuse, to reflect the experience of doing a PhD, and somehow made it even more depressing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ7W...
A scientific explanation for a cat with two tails.
August 17, 2025 at 10:05 PM
A scientific explanation for a cat with two tails.
We report the discovery of a pair of novel neurotransmitters, which are synthesised from dopamine and Cheese Supreme Doritos.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
August 4, 2025 at 11:30 AM
We report the discovery of a pair of novel neurotransmitters, which are synthesised from dopamine and Cheese Supreme Doritos.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
We turned medicinal chemistry into a card game, which takes 3-10 years to play.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
July 25, 2025 at 8:45 AM
We turned medicinal chemistry into a card game, which takes 3-10 years to play.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
We ranked all the “sea”-creatures we could think of by how much they resemble the land counterparts. In light of the wild inconsistencies we have uncovered, we recommend renaming some land animals in the name of fairness, eg. lions = landsharks.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
July 19, 2025 at 11:10 AM
We ranked all the “sea”-creatures we could think of by how much they resemble the land counterparts. In light of the wild inconsistencies we have uncovered, we recommend renaming some land animals in the name of fairness, eg. lions = landsharks.
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...