lancer.
@holymaiden.bsky.social
a heart is a heavy burden.
✎ frey. 🔞
✎ frey. 🔞
Pinned
( I suppose this isn't really a holiday I'm able to celebrate... still, it'd feel strange not to do *something*.
... what would I have done, under normal circumstances... ? )
... what would I have done, under normal circumstances... ? )
February 15, 2026 at 12:51 AM
( I suppose this isn't really a holiday I'm able to celebrate... still, it'd feel strange not to do *something*.
... what would I have done, under normal circumstances... ? )
... what would I have done, under normal circumstances... ? )
[ staring blankly at the valentines decorations strewn across the cafeteria. ]
February 15, 2026 at 12:49 AM
[ staring blankly at the valentines decorations strewn across the cafeteria. ]
Ah— please, do not trouble yourself over it. I...
...
It's alright. Things happen for a reason, no?
...
It's alright. Things happen for a reason, no?
[Grimacing he shakes his head.]
No, that would be too much of an excuse. It's my own fault for not trying to search harder for you when it happened.
I should have been more diligent.
No, that would be too much of an excuse. It's my own fault for not trying to search harder for you when it happened.
I should have been more diligent.
February 15, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Ah— please, do not trouble yourself over it. I...
...
It's alright. Things happen for a reason, no?
...
It's alright. Things happen for a reason, no?
[ she's been practicing her smile in a mirror for the last hour. ]
February 11, 2026 at 7:48 PM
[ she's been practicing her smile in a mirror for the last hour. ]
Maître.
[ she sighs. ]
I hesitate to have you shoulder the burdens I've placed upon myself. But since you're so persistent, I'll abide by your wishes.
... I was alone. Nobody came back for me, so I was alone. Even when I prayed, I could not help but feel... abandoned. Désolé.
[ she sighs. ]
I hesitate to have you shoulder the burdens I've placed upon myself. But since you're so persistent, I'll abide by your wishes.
... I was alone. Nobody came back for me, so I was alone. Even when I prayed, I could not help but feel... abandoned. Désolé.
"All of this". You're talking about it cryptically.
We're in the torment nexus here, you can speak freely.
We're in the torment nexus here, you can speak freely.
Mmh. I'd rather not place the burden on others, as it were. After all, this... all of this was my own doing.
I've no right to complain, either.
I've no right to complain, either.
February 11, 2026 at 5:39 AM
Maître.
[ she sighs. ]
I hesitate to have you shoulder the burdens I've placed upon myself. But since you're so persistent, I'll abide by your wishes.
... I was alone. Nobody came back for me, so I was alone. Even when I prayed, I could not help but feel... abandoned. Désolé.
[ she sighs. ]
I hesitate to have you shoulder the burdens I've placed upon myself. But since you're so persistent, I'll abide by your wishes.
... I was alone. Nobody came back for me, so I was alone. Even when I prayed, I could not help but feel... abandoned. Désolé.
Mmh. I'd rather not place the burden on others, as it were. After all, this... all of this was my own doing.
I've no right to complain, either.
I've no right to complain, either.
It's less strenuous, but that isn't my concern. If I get drained from overtaxation of mana that's on me.
You're part of a team, you don't need to carry that weight alone.
You're part of a team, you don't need to carry that weight alone.
....You know as well as I do that it won't do anyone any good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
February 11, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Mmh. I'd rather not place the burden on others, as it were. After all, this... all of this was my own doing.
I've no right to complain, either.
I've no right to complain, either.
/ does Dante know he still has to text me back :/ :/ :/
February 10, 2026 at 6:55 PM
/ does Dante know he still has to text me back :/ :/ :/
/ lancer Jeanne discovers video games, gets really into them and shifts back into ruler class as metatron. just trust me bro
February 10, 2026 at 6:48 PM
/ lancer Jeanne discovers video games, gets really into them and shifts back into ruler class as metatron. just trust me bro
It can't continue like this. I cannot waver any longer.
February 10, 2026 at 5:31 PM
It can't continue like this. I cannot waver any longer.
....You know as well as I do that it won't do anyone any good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
It's fine, you're home after all, you should have the chance to let your guard down and do so.
I'm not about to tell you not to do it anyway, so if you feel the need then go ahead.
...Can't exactly say that for sure. Not without proof.
I'm not about to tell you not to do it anyway, so if you feel the need then go ahead.
...Can't exactly say that for sure. Not without proof.
Ah—! Maître! You surprised me.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
February 10, 2026 at 5:28 PM
....You know as well as I do that it won't do anyone any good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.
... I'll do my best as always, Maître.
February 10, 2026 at 5:20 PM
... I'll do my best as always, Maître.
/ every time i log into this acct I just think "good job on getting this username, me" like how did i manage that lol
February 10, 2026 at 5:19 PM
/ every time i log into this acct I just think "good job on getting this username, me" like how did i manage that lol
Reposted by lancer.
February 10, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Ah—! Maître! You surprised me.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
So, do you want to talk about it?
Sounds like you've got some thoughts pertaining to the present situation.
[Where did he come from?]
Sounds like you've got some thoughts pertaining to the present situation.
[Where did he come from?]
[ she continues to mutter to herself. ]
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
February 10, 2026 at 7:35 AM
Ah—! Maître! You surprised me.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much?
... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.
Is it? I suppose that makes sense. It's best to keep working towards our goals, after all.
... wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt, if we can help it.
... wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt, if we can help it.
Different way of carrying yourself or not, you're still you.
So that's what especially matters. We'll figure out the bounds of your present ability at the labyrinth. That's part of the reason it exists.
[Those feelings are pushed down, something to be handled at a later time.]
So that's what especially matters. We'll figure out the bounds of your present ability at the labyrinth. That's part of the reason it exists.
[Those feelings are pushed down, something to be handled at a later time.]
The fact you still accept me as I am is all I could ask.
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
February 10, 2026 at 7:31 AM
Is it? I suppose that makes sense. It's best to keep working towards our goals, after all.
... wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt, if we can help it.
... wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt, if we can help it.
....I was separated from everyone. During the move. That's all.
?
I don't want to talk about it.
February 10, 2026 at 7:28 AM
....I was separated from everyone. During the move. That's all.
[ she continues to mutter to herself. ]
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
February 9, 2026 at 8:46 PM
[ she continues to mutter to herself. ]
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...
I don't want to talk about it.
Did she get lost.
February 9, 2026 at 8:43 PM
I don't want to talk about it.
( though, I'm unsure if everyone acting as if I wasn't left behind sits right with me. )
February 9, 2026 at 8:40 PM
( though, I'm unsure if everyone acting as if I wasn't left behind sits right with me. )
it is quite rude to discuss one behind their back. surely you're at least avoiding unkind topics?
February 9, 2026 at 8:37 PM
it is quite rude to discuss one behind their back. surely you're at least avoiding unkind topics?
The fact you still accept me as I am is all I could ask.
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
Yeah... Yeah I can see that's the case. You recognize me and I can strongly feel the pull we share.
Maybe that's the extent of what matters here.
[But that was a lie, and he knew as much. He'd just force the feeling down for the time being.]
Maybe that's the extent of what matters here.
[But that was a lie, and he knew as much. He'd just force the feeling down for the time being.]
[ a sad smile. ]
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
February 9, 2026 at 12:54 PM
The fact you still accept me as I am is all I could ask.
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always.
[ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]
[ a sad smile. ]
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
You're back and that's mostly what matters over everything else.
. . . You say that but, it's kind hard not to.
. . . You say that but, it's kind hard not to.
oui. so sorry our reunion is under less than ideal circumstances.
.... please, don't worry about me.
.... please, don't worry about me.
February 9, 2026 at 7:55 AM
[ a sad smile. ]
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.
oui. so sorry our reunion is under less than ideal circumstances.
.... please, don't worry about me.
.... please, don't worry about me.
...Right, yeah, of course. Take your time with it then. You're probably tired after only just getting back.
[That's how this works, right?]
[That's how this works, right?]
ah, well... it's a bit of a long story.
....désolé, Maître. I don't wish to think about it right now.
....désolé, Maître. I don't wish to think about it right now.
February 9, 2026 at 6:55 AM
oui. so sorry our reunion is under less than ideal circumstances.
.... please, don't worry about me.
.... please, don't worry about me.
( I'm surprised... she's quite giddy about my return. I would have assumed the opposite. )
February 9, 2026 at 6:29 AM
( I'm surprised... she's quite giddy about my return. I would have assumed the opposite. )