i need to get medicated so bad

the goals were doable i just literally suck as at living for myself and then i get sad when im not where i want to be in my life

really really frustrating. i feel like being in school locks me into being mediocre at everything i do, but sometimes i blame myself for that

i think this is up there for the most traction art of mine has ever gotten which is insane

i just genuinely know i am a presence that isnt cared for here

id be dissapointed in myself if i could bring myself to care about myself at all. i genuinely dont know whats wrong either me or why im like this

i just genuinely dont know how im alive. im 22 years old and feel like ive got nothing ahead of me. all the years other people spend parcticing things when theyre young i spent doing absolutely nothing. i have Nothing to show for 22 years on thisplanet

ill probably just stop in a week. honestly apart of the reason i say i just dont play games is because havingto learn any new game makes me so upset because i cant handle failure. i stopped indulging in a hobby just because i couldnt even do that correctly

as much as i smile and fumble through life i just. do nothing for myself. if anything i make everything worse for myself. and i genuinely never see myself getting the drive to change anything for myself anymore. im too fucking lazy and need 1 million pushes and different incentives and even then