so i find myself "overthinking," wondering 'will my book make any money' and then thinking 'if not then what's the point.' and it's hard to get outta that mindset when you're pregnant, struggling, and stressed about the future.

i think i just worry a lot because I've lost so much income over the past few years, for lots of different reasons, and my primary goal atm is to make enough money where i don't ever need to crowdfund for basic needs again, which i find stressful and demoralizing.

they say you have to let your audience find you, so instead of using this feeling as an excuse to stop writing i decided to put my non-fiction project on the backburner for a little bit and move forward with the projects that bring me jwa (joy).

I'm supposed to be nonchalant because social media isn't for money, silly! it's for fun. all the people with advanced degrees and/or regular (full time) employment or illustrious gigs, whose baskets are bigger or more varied, are saying that blue checks are now for poseurs and losers.

That shit is insane smh