George Bass
@georgebas5.bsky.social
Bouncer. Security guard. Sometimes write for @theguardian.com @washingtonpost.com @timeshighered.bsky.social @nytimes.com @financialtimes.com @newscientist.com Mostly at work opening doors and stopping fights.
Maybe he thought Umbria was spelled with a C. “We’ve gone into a hostile nation state by mistake.”
December 1, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Maybe he thought Umbria was spelled with a C. “We’ve gone into a hostile nation state by mistake.”
Can’t wait for the cameo. “Excuse me, which way is the sex island?”
November 25, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Can’t wait for the cameo. “Excuse me, which way is the sex island?”
I’ve been raising Union Jacks that are a quarter of the size of the other flags on lampposts. Fingers crossed people think it means Australia.
November 22, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I’ve been raising Union Jacks that are a quarter of the size of the other flags on lampposts. Fingers crossed people think it means Australia.
“We’re all trying to find the guy who’s been taking cash from Russian lobbyists and crypto outfits.”
November 22, 2025 at 6:40 PM
“We’re all trying to find the guy who’s been taking cash from Russian lobbyists and crypto outfits.”
New Strictly hosts confirmed.
November 9, 2025 at 8:16 PM
New Strictly hosts confirmed.
Happy Halloween. Bouncer’s tip: choose your costume carefully or we’ll have to sling you out.
October 31, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Happy Halloween. Bouncer’s tip: choose your costume carefully or we’ll have to sling you out.
“It is time for the English to ally with the hard men”
October 29, 2025 at 10:41 AM
“It is time for the English to ally with the hard men”
As a door supervisor, the idea of a load of white identical faces coming towards me would make me think I’ve left England and gone to the planet of the Autons.
October 26, 2025 at 8:57 AM
As a door supervisor, the idea of a load of white identical faces coming towards me would make me think I’ve left England and gone to the planet of the Autons.
This time next week he’ll be on a tag.
October 19, 2025 at 11:04 AM
This time next week he’ll be on a tag.
He could always swap the title on his letterhead for an emoji.
October 17, 2025 at 9:09 PM
He could always swap the title on his letterhead for an emoji.
11. Threat of legal action from posh Twiglet.
October 17, 2025 at 7:31 AM
11. Threat of legal action from posh Twiglet.
Give Piss a Chance
October 16, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Give Piss a Chance
I’ve worked out Yaxley-Lennon’s phone PIN. It’s 0468. That’s how many calories he takes in every time he gets within chucking distance of a McDonalds car park.
October 14, 2025 at 8:07 AM
I’ve worked out Yaxley-Lennon’s phone PIN. It’s 0468. That’s how many calories he takes in every time he gets within chucking distance of a McDonalds car park.
He heard Microsoft are giving out free Davek mini umbrellas.
October 10, 2025 at 8:51 PM
He heard Microsoft are giving out free Davek mini umbrellas.
After the Four Seasons Landscaping mix-up, we could always award him one of these and tell him he’s won.
October 9, 2025 at 8:25 PM
After the Four Seasons Landscaping mix-up, we could always award him one of these and tell him he’s won.
The producers should have got some politicians to do Celeb Traitors. They could have gone to the castle via bus.
October 8, 2025 at 7:02 PM
The producers should have got some politicians to do Celeb Traitors. They could have gone to the castle via bus.
Convinced they went with Tron Ares because it’s an anagram of A Snorter.
October 7, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Convinced they went with Tron Ares because it’s an anagram of A Snorter.
Can’t be the only one who thought of the Fast Show as soon as they heard the title.
October 7, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Can’t be the only one who thought of the Fast Show as soon as they heard the title.
Even the pot plants have legged it.
October 5, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Even the pot plants have legged it.
“(Tommy Robinson) has proven himself a true friend of Israel and the Jewish people”.
October 4, 2025 at 8:46 AM
“(Tommy Robinson) has proven himself a true friend of Israel and the Jewish people”.