you get the sneaking suspicion that this sleepover won't actually involve a whole lot of sleeping...

You still jolt in surprise as the mattress thunder below you both and the rumbling ripple of a strained trombone flutters through the bed. As she sighs and cozies up to her pillow, and the smell of meaty decay and warm sesame oil claws at your nostrils,

a damp puddle of sweat already forming beneath her tush. A stronger, more reinforced wave of Lainey-stink brushes over your face as she rolls into bed, giving you ample warning for what's coming.

It's just gone 3:30 AM when you're woken by first the hefty padding of feet up the stairs and then a wave of familiarly spicy body odor spiking your nose. You turn to find Lainey lifting the sheets and plonking herself down on the empty space beside you,

It’s super effective…

Can’t wait for Animalympicscon in the lobby of a one star motel in Michigan

Underwater farts are always fun to see, boiling a lake away to nothing with a single prolonged toot etc etc

LOVE how long the farts are here

Just letting them marinate!

Starting to sound like a creaky door factory over here

Swollen distended outie that doubles up as a nuclear launch button if someone’s feeling really brave

The warnings are kinda trivial when the farts are so bad and omnipotent that you’ll be smelling and experiencing them regardless of where you are on planet earth

TOTES smells like monster energy and cheap bubblegum perfume had a Frankenstein’s monster baby and just one whiff turns u awesomesauce

You can only blame it on the chair so many times

Bending over is a risky maneuver, might just have to flop on a bed and let the bellows inflate and churn for the next 28 days

The agonized gut sloshing is your cue to run. You won’t get far before things start erupting but it’s worth a shot

DAMN the pumpkin harvest is extra ripe this season