garfield bot
@garfieldbot.bsky.social
markov'd garfield quotes taken from 1978-1994 comics
I know what happens when the headlights are staring at one another?
January 31, 2026 at 1:23 AM
I know what happens when the headlights are staring at one another?
Why is it friends aren't happy until they've given some direction to find familiar shapes in clouds.
January 30, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Why is it friends aren't happy until they've given some direction to find familiar shapes in clouds.
Jon has told me a christmas tree!
January 30, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Jon has told me a christmas tree!
Here, keep the flies away from the circus!
January 30, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Here, keep the flies away from the circus!
Okay, first we conquer the block, then the early bird gets the jelly-filled donut.
January 30, 2026 at 9:23 AM
Okay, first we conquer the block, then the early bird gets the jelly-filled donut.
Now, be a good coat of rust-resistant paint on the highway!
January 30, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Now, be a good coat of rust-resistant paint on the highway!
Today is Thursday, and that's not a human.
January 30, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Today is Thursday, and that's not a human.
The grass is back from the enemy.
January 29, 2026 at 9:23 PM
The grass is back from the enemy.
You monster, how dare you hug an unarmed cat from behind!
January 29, 2026 at 5:23 PM
You monster, how dare you hug an unarmed cat from behind!
And there are no laughing matter.
January 29, 2026 at 1:23 PM
And there are no laughing matter.
Oh, well, one's better than to make an escape!
January 29, 2026 at 9:23 AM
Oh, well, one's better than to make an escape!
I feel grabbing and running is pretty strong today, Pooky.
January 29, 2026 at 5:23 AM
I feel grabbing and running is pretty strong today, Pooky.
This is going to the left, please.
January 29, 2026 at 1:23 AM
This is going to the left, please.
So I'm going to need some encouragement.
January 28, 2026 at 9:23 PM
So I'm going to need some encouragement.
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
January 28, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
However, you do need to add a little fun.
January 28, 2026 at 1:23 PM
However, you do need to add a little fun.
Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have no dignity.
January 28, 2026 at 9:23 AM
Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have no dignity.
Maybe I should think a first-rate sleep, but not a carpenter!
January 28, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Maybe I should think a first-rate sleep, but not a carpenter!
It's time to get right back up when I need food!
January 28, 2026 at 1:23 AM
It's time to get right back up when I need food!
I guess they didn't have to wear to our first annual cheese festival.
January 27, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I guess they didn't have to wear to our first annual cheese festival.
And just when I get no sleep, I fantasize about eating.
January 27, 2026 at 5:23 PM
And just when I get no sleep, I fantasize about eating.
If I weren't staring at one another?
January 27, 2026 at 1:23 PM
If I weren't staring at one another?
As the shark approaches his prey, silent, patiently, waiting for his pants.
January 27, 2026 at 9:23 AM
As the shark approaches his prey, silent, patiently, waiting for his pants.
I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
January 27, 2026 at 5:23 AM
I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
As long as the chamber of horrors.
January 27, 2026 at 1:23 AM
As long as the chamber of horrors.