I hope Tim Cook has to do something on his phone. That is my curse for all the Apple execs who let this happen. May you need to use your phone.

“I see your boyfriend has a big ol one, would you like me to write a song about it?”

Finding this EN-EL7 in a stack of ordinary batteries was like discovering an artifact from a lost civilization.

I wish I'd never learned about this train scale. This post has ruined my life and finances.

Of all the people you could buy with Meta money, why would you poach the Liquid Glass guy

I remember this so vividly.

Immediate confusion followed by every city in the world reminding people that they’re not allowed to drive on the sidewalk.

I’m napping right now and I’m not ashamed to say it

Watching Jackie Chan walk up to your squad of warehouse punks holding a stepladder and being like “well hold on fellas let’s not get too worked up, a man’s allowed to pick up a stepladder”