i wish i have friends to talk to than just venting my thoughts into the void

I'm still really active but every server I go to I just feel like I couldn't talk about anything, merely just saying a sentence or two

when your dreams feel so distant what would you do? do you keep going because you've spent too much time and energy into it? do you ignore the sunk cost fallacy and give up? what exactly is the reason that you're moving towards such an ephemeral fantasy?

it isn't impossible, i believe that much. but I'm so innately unbelievably bad that I kept failing everytime I give it a shot. I'm tired

how long do i have to train myself to be able to get out of it? what sacrifices do i need to make so i can free myself from this challenging task?

i have hope, hope that in the darkest time someone will save me.

but i also know that i have to climb out of the cliff myself. i have to dig out of my own grave that i so willingly dug because no one has enough energy to get me out from the mistakes i make

i hate imagining my friends caring for me when i know the reality isn't so endearing. it's always been a desolate world and it'll stay that way for the rest of my life.

sometimes i wonder whats the point of screaming into the void but i dont care anymore

genuinely wish all of my friends on twitter can move to bluesky but when followers number mean a lot to one's career it becomes significantly harder to abandon

i do wonder if it's because of my untreated following list but like. the algorithm should've known it's not content i want to see because of how so fucking often I've pressed the "not interested" button

it can get desolate really easily but i very much enjoy talking and meeting random people who just happened to have the same interest as i do - compared to the hell that is engagement fest on other social medias