Salt Water
@findyourharbor.bsky.social
Have you lost someone you can't live without? Salt Water is a blog, online community & resource for those who are grieving.
https://www.findyourharbor.org
https://www.findyourharbor.org
Holidays After Loss, Tip #14 - Remember the children taken from us far too soon
Join the wave of people all around the world lighting a candle at 7:00 pm worldwide in memory of our sons and daughters to show that they are never forgotten and forever loved.
Join the wave of people all around the world lighting a candle at 7:00 pm worldwide in memory of our sons and daughters to show that they are never forgotten and forever loved.
December 14, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #14 - Remember the children taken from us far too soon
Join the wave of people all around the world lighting a candle at 7:00 pm worldwide in memory of our sons and daughters to show that they are never forgotten and forever loved.
Join the wave of people all around the world lighting a candle at 7:00 pm worldwide in memory of our sons and daughters to show that they are never forgotten and forever loved.
Holidays After Loss, Tip #13 - 'No' is a complete sentence
The holidays are tiring. For those shattered by loss, they're exhausting, overwhelming, undoable.
Give yourself permission to say 'no' to whatever & whoever doesn't bring you joy, make you laugh or help you heal.
The holidays are tiring. For those shattered by loss, they're exhausting, overwhelming, undoable.
Give yourself permission to say 'no' to whatever & whoever doesn't bring you joy, make you laugh or help you heal.
December 13, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #13 - 'No' is a complete sentence
The holidays are tiring. For those shattered by loss, they're exhausting, overwhelming, undoable.
Give yourself permission to say 'no' to whatever & whoever doesn't bring you joy, make you laugh or help you heal.
The holidays are tiring. For those shattered by loss, they're exhausting, overwhelming, undoable.
Give yourself permission to say 'no' to whatever & whoever doesn't bring you joy, make you laugh or help you heal.
Holidays After Loss, Tip #12 - Reach out to your friends & family who are grieving
The holidays become so painful when one of your essential people is no longer part of them. Caught up the frenzy, you might not notice how much your grieving loved ones need you this time of year.
The holidays become so painful when one of your essential people is no longer part of them. Caught up the frenzy, you might not notice how much your grieving loved ones need you this time of year.
December 12, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #12 - Reach out to your friends & family who are grieving
The holidays become so painful when one of your essential people is no longer part of them. Caught up the frenzy, you might not notice how much your grieving loved ones need you this time of year.
The holidays become so painful when one of your essential people is no longer part of them. Caught up the frenzy, you might not notice how much your grieving loved ones need you this time of year.
Holidays After Loss, Tip #11 – Make space for everyone's loss
Some of your loved ones may be grieving a furry or feathery family member during the holidays ...
Some of your loved ones may be grieving a furry or feathery family member during the holidays ...
December 11, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #11 – Make space for everyone's loss
Some of your loved ones may be grieving a furry or feathery family member during the holidays ...
Some of your loved ones may be grieving a furry or feathery family member during the holidays ...
“We tell more of our family & friends about your Memory Tree. Then something special happens. One knock at our door turns into another. And another. People show up with ornaments to hang on your tree.
Everyone is sharing a cherished memory of you as they hang their ornaments ..
Everyone is sharing a cherished memory of you as they hang their ornaments ..
December 10, 2025 at 8:28 PM
“We tell more of our family & friends about your Memory Tree. Then something special happens. One knock at our door turns into another. And another. People show up with ornaments to hang on your tree.
Everyone is sharing a cherished memory of you as they hang their ornaments ..
Everyone is sharing a cherished memory of you as they hang their ornaments ..
Holidays After Loss, Tip #10 - Keep your soulmates close
My grief soulmates understand the subtleties of loss .. what triggers a wave of anguish or pain.. the way I long for my son and my mother. They lean in, instead of looking away. Tears and rants don't scare them ...
My grief soulmates understand the subtleties of loss .. what triggers a wave of anguish or pain.. the way I long for my son and my mother. They lean in, instead of looking away. Tears and rants don't scare them ...
December 10, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #10 - Keep your soulmates close
My grief soulmates understand the subtleties of loss .. what triggers a wave of anguish or pain.. the way I long for my son and my mother. They lean in, instead of looking away. Tears and rants don't scare them ...
My grief soulmates understand the subtleties of loss .. what triggers a wave of anguish or pain.. the way I long for my son and my mother. They lean in, instead of looking away. Tears and rants don't scare them ...
Holidays After Loss, Tip #9 - Limit your time on social media
Facebook and Instagram are full of people with shiny lives and whole families, especially during the holidays.
When you find yourself feeling sad or resentful, close your computer. Call a dear friend ...
Facebook and Instagram are full of people with shiny lives and whole families, especially during the holidays.
When you find yourself feeling sad or resentful, close your computer. Call a dear friend ...
December 9, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #9 - Limit your time on social media
Facebook and Instagram are full of people with shiny lives and whole families, especially during the holidays.
When you find yourself feeling sad or resentful, close your computer. Call a dear friend ...
Facebook and Instagram are full of people with shiny lives and whole families, especially during the holidays.
When you find yourself feeling sad or resentful, close your computer. Call a dear friend ...
Holidays After Loss, Tip #8 – Allow yourself to hold the both/and
Grieving and grateful ... joy and sorrow ... empty and full. Longing for those who are missing and cherishing those who remain.
#holidaysafterloss
Grieving and grateful ... joy and sorrow ... empty and full. Longing for those who are missing and cherishing those who remain.
#holidaysafterloss
December 8, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #8 – Allow yourself to hold the both/and
Grieving and grateful ... joy and sorrow ... empty and full. Longing for those who are missing and cherishing those who remain.
#holidaysafterloss
Grieving and grateful ... joy and sorrow ... empty and full. Longing for those who are missing and cherishing those who remain.
#holidaysafterloss
"During the 1st holiday season after my son Eric's death 26 years ago, I gritted my teeth & pushed forward. But in time, I was able to unearth the ornaments we'd given him every year since birth, creating a collection he'd take into his future. A future Eric would never have.
December 7, 2025 at 9:39 PM
"During the 1st holiday season after my son Eric's death 26 years ago, I gritted my teeth & pushed forward. But in time, I was able to unearth the ornaments we'd given him every year since birth, creating a collection he'd take into his future. A future Eric would never have.
Holidays After Loss, Tip #7 - Prioritize yourself
The holidays are stressful, even in the best of circumstances.
There are so many demands on our time and so much to get done. Family members have competing ideas about how and where to gather and who to include ...
The holidays are stressful, even in the best of circumstances.
There are so many demands on our time and so much to get done. Family members have competing ideas about how and where to gather and who to include ...
December 7, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #7 - Prioritize yourself
The holidays are stressful, even in the best of circumstances.
There are so many demands on our time and so much to get done. Family members have competing ideas about how and where to gather and who to include ...
The holidays are stressful, even in the best of circumstances.
There are so many demands on our time and so much to get done. Family members have competing ideas about how and where to gather and who to include ...
Holidays After Loss, Tip #6 - Do what you can and skip the rest
*No energy to create a holiday card? Give yourself permission to take the year off.
*Overwhelmed by the idea of shopping for presents for Christmas or Hanukkah? Give gift cards instead.
*No energy to create a holiday card? Give yourself permission to take the year off.
*Overwhelmed by the idea of shopping for presents for Christmas or Hanukkah? Give gift cards instead.
December 6, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #6 - Do what you can and skip the rest
*No energy to create a holiday card? Give yourself permission to take the year off.
*Overwhelmed by the idea of shopping for presents for Christmas or Hanukkah? Give gift cards instead.
*No energy to create a holiday card? Give yourself permission to take the year off.
*Overwhelmed by the idea of shopping for presents for Christmas or Hanukkah? Give gift cards instead.
"But grief can be another day on the wheel, when paradoxically a blue sky can unveil & a white egret appears in the branch. I have named him Doy after my youngest son, whose pet name was Doy. He will fly and land with me as I walk beside the river in the valley behind our home.
December 5, 2025 at 7:52 PM
"But grief can be another day on the wheel, when paradoxically a blue sky can unveil & a white egret appears in the branch. I have named him Doy after my youngest son, whose pet name was Doy. He will fly and land with me as I walk beside the river in the valley behind our home.
Holidays After Loss, Tip #5 - Make time to sit with your grief
During the holidays, it's easy to get distracted and start moving in too many directions at once because acknowledging how much you miss your son, your sister, your spouse can feel hard, hard, hard ..
During the holidays, it's easy to get distracted and start moving in too many directions at once because acknowledging how much you miss your son, your sister, your spouse can feel hard, hard, hard ..
December 5, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #5 - Make time to sit with your grief
During the holidays, it's easy to get distracted and start moving in too many directions at once because acknowledging how much you miss your son, your sister, your spouse can feel hard, hard, hard ..
During the holidays, it's easy to get distracted and start moving in too many directions at once because acknowledging how much you miss your son, your sister, your spouse can feel hard, hard, hard ..
Holidays After Loss, Tip #4 - If you don't think you can be present or pleasant, it's okay to be absent
Expectations are everywhere this time of year, especially within our families. But after losing a beloved, it's ok to put your needs first. If it feels too hard, you don't have to go. Really.
Expectations are everywhere this time of year, especially within our families. But after losing a beloved, it's ok to put your needs first. If it feels too hard, you don't have to go. Really.
December 4, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #4 - If you don't think you can be present or pleasant, it's okay to be absent
Expectations are everywhere this time of year, especially within our families. But after losing a beloved, it's ok to put your needs first. If it feels too hard, you don't have to go. Really.
Expectations are everywhere this time of year, especially within our families. But after losing a beloved, it's ok to put your needs first. If it feels too hard, you don't have to go. Really.
Holidays After Loss, #3 - Remember the ones who are no longer here
Say their names. Tell their stories. Offer a toast in honor of their beautiful, too-short lives.
It's a gift to hear our loved ones' names and see them exactly where they've always been and still should be.
#holidaysafterloss
Say their names. Tell their stories. Offer a toast in honor of their beautiful, too-short lives.
It's a gift to hear our loved ones' names and see them exactly where they've always been and still should be.
#holidaysafterloss
December 3, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Holidays After Loss, #3 - Remember the ones who are no longer here
Say their names. Tell their stories. Offer a toast in honor of their beautiful, too-short lives.
It's a gift to hear our loved ones' names and see them exactly where they've always been and still should be.
#holidaysafterloss
Say their names. Tell their stories. Offer a toast in honor of their beautiful, too-short lives.
It's a gift to hear our loved ones' names and see them exactly where they've always been and still should be.
#holidaysafterloss
Holidays After Loss, Tip #2 - Be kind to yourself
You won't be able to do as much as you did before your loved one died.
Whether you do a lot, a little or ignore the holidays altogether, know that you are doing the best you can.
Let it be enough.
#holidaysafterloss
You won't be able to do as much as you did before your loved one died.
Whether you do a lot, a little or ignore the holidays altogether, know that you are doing the best you can.
Let it be enough.
#holidaysafterloss
December 2, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #2 - Be kind to yourself
You won't be able to do as much as you did before your loved one died.
Whether you do a lot, a little or ignore the holidays altogether, know that you are doing the best you can.
Let it be enough.
#holidaysafterloss
You won't be able to do as much as you did before your loved one died.
Whether you do a lot, a little or ignore the holidays altogether, know that you are doing the best you can.
Let it be enough.
#holidaysafterloss
Holidays After Loss, Tip #1 -- Think ahead
Before the holidays arrive, consider how you need to navigate them this year. Attend a small gathering, hang out with family or be with friends and chosen family instead? Or, would you rather leave town and avoid the season altogether?
Before the holidays arrive, consider how you need to navigate them this year. Attend a small gathering, hang out with family or be with friends and chosen family instead? Or, would you rather leave town and avoid the season altogether?
December 1, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Holidays After Loss, Tip #1 -- Think ahead
Before the holidays arrive, consider how you need to navigate them this year. Attend a small gathering, hang out with family or be with friends and chosen family instead? Or, would you rather leave town and avoid the season altogether?
Before the holidays arrive, consider how you need to navigate them this year. Attend a small gathering, hang out with family or be with friends and chosen family instead? Or, would you rather leave town and avoid the season altogether?
After the death of one of our essential people, the holidays can become a daunting, devastating time. There's an empty chair (or 2) at the table. You may lack the energy or desire to even acknowledge the holidays. You might feel alone or be estranged from some of your family ...
November 30, 2025 at 7:17 PM
After the death of one of our essential people, the holidays can become a daunting, devastating time. There's an empty chair (or 2) at the table. You may lack the energy or desire to even acknowledge the holidays. You might feel alone or be estranged from some of your family ...
Gentle reminders for navigating Thanksgiving.
The day will pass. You can get through it. Breathe ...
The day will pass. You can get through it. Breathe ...
November 26, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Gentle reminders for navigating Thanksgiving.
The day will pass. You can get through it. Breathe ...
The day will pass. You can get through it. Breathe ...
"Let go of .. what you “should” do for the holidays & ask what you want to do .. What part of the holiday is most meaningful to me? What may have worked in the past that doesn’t feel right anymore? What are some things I could drop to make my life easier?"
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/w...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/w...
This Holiday Season, Make a ‘To-Don’t’ List
www.nytimes.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:37 PM
"Let go of .. what you “should” do for the holidays & ask what you want to do .. What part of the holiday is most meaningful to me? What may have worked in the past that doesn’t feel right anymore? What are some things I could drop to make my life easier?"
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/w...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/w...
"The skies were dark, and it was pouring rain. Yet there was so much light in that room. As we went around the circle, I was reminded of the way stories heal. The hope they offer, the path forward, the reminder that we are never, ever alone."
findyourharbor.com/there-is-alw...
findyourharbor.com/there-is-alw...
There Is Always A Light Somewhere | Salt Water
We are all healers of the world. Rachel Naomi Remen
findyourharbor.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
"The skies were dark, and it was pouring rain. Yet there was so much light in that room. As we went around the circle, I was reminded of the way stories heal. The hope they offer, the path forward, the reminder that we are never, ever alone."
findyourharbor.com/there-is-alw...
findyourharbor.com/there-is-alw...
"What happens after someone you love dies?
It's really hard for those who remain behind.
And it can be hard for a long, long time.
That's all right.
It takes as long as it takes."
So begins Diane Namm's beautiful, comforting book for young children ...
It's really hard for those who remain behind.
And it can be hard for a long, long time.
That's all right.
It takes as long as it takes."
So begins Diane Namm's beautiful, comforting book for young children ...
November 20, 2025 at 5:56 PM
"What happens after someone you love dies?
It's really hard for those who remain behind.
And it can be hard for a long, long time.
That's all right.
It takes as long as it takes."
So begins Diane Namm's beautiful, comforting book for young children ...
It's really hard for those who remain behind.
And it can be hard for a long, long time.
That's all right.
It takes as long as it takes."
So begins Diane Namm's beautiful, comforting book for young children ...
"When she died, we felt what we call the Wind of Wisdom & Light rise from her & blanket the skies. Her Wind of Wisdom & Light tickled the stars, making them laugh w/a sparkling brightness impossible to ignore. She was a lava flow of love flooding the world.."
findyourharbor.com/tribute/
findyourharbor.com/tribute/
Tribute | Salt Water
Everyone thinks Koko was the first of us to learn sign language. But anyone who eats bananas knows it was Washoe, a chimpanzee who could combine signs to create new meanings such as “water bird” for a...
findyourharbor.com
October 27, 2025 at 10:40 AM
"When she died, we felt what we call the Wind of Wisdom & Light rise from her & blanket the skies. Her Wind of Wisdom & Light tickled the stars, making them laugh w/a sparkling brightness impossible to ignore. She was a lava flow of love flooding the world.."
findyourharbor.com/tribute/
findyourharbor.com/tribute/
"I wasn’t prepared for the way the two hospitals and everyone we knew there disappeared as destinations after Jimmy died. I was still welcome in the building, encouraged to visit in fact. But there was no longer a reason to go."
findyourharbor.com/mapping-what...
findyourharbor.com/mapping-what...
Mapping What Is Lost | Salt Water
Grief is a country that has no definite borderlines and that recognizes no single trajectory. It is a space that did not exist before your loss, and that will never disappear from your map, no matter ...
findyourharbor.com
October 20, 2025 at 3:34 PM
"I wasn’t prepared for the way the two hospitals and everyone we knew there disappeared as destinations after Jimmy died. I was still welcome in the building, encouraged to visit in fact. But there was no longer a reason to go."
findyourharbor.com/mapping-what...
findyourharbor.com/mapping-what...
".. every item bears Jimmy’s fingerprints or handwriting. Each scrap of paper or object has a story, a memory or an act of kindness associated with it .. gentle reminders of the smallest truths about his interests, habits and passions, the essence of who he was."
findyourharbor.com/what-we-keep/
findyourharbor.com/what-we-keep/
What We Keep | Salt Water
Everyone must leave something behind when he dies … something your hand touched some way, so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, y...
findyourharbor.com
October 16, 2025 at 5:55 PM
".. every item bears Jimmy’s fingerprints or handwriting. Each scrap of paper or object has a story, a memory or an act of kindness associated with it .. gentle reminders of the smallest truths about his interests, habits and passions, the essence of who he was."
findyourharbor.com/what-we-keep/
findyourharbor.com/what-we-keep/