the active ingredient in head & shoulders is knees & toes
December 28, 2025 at 5:55 AM
the active ingredient in head & shoulders is knees & toes
would I were a jingle bell
December 24, 2025 at 7:45 PM
would I were a jingle bell
my psychic diagnosed me with an eye problem...
I'm going to see something terrible
I'm going to see something terrible
December 24, 2025 at 4:32 AM
my psychic diagnosed me with an eye problem...
I'm going to see something terrible
I'm going to see something terrible
honestly getting emotional about the chive guy
December 23, 2025 at 5:35 AM
honestly getting emotional about the chive guy
Pretty sure Rudolph had a severe bioluminescent bacterial infection
December 23, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Pretty sure Rudolph had a severe bioluminescent bacterial infection
Obviously Santa Claus was in the files
December 23, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Obviously Santa Claus was in the files
I shoulda thought about what it would sound like to combine "sheesh" and "gee whiz" BEFORE I said "she wizz" out loud
December 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I shoulda thought about what it would sound like to combine "sheesh" and "gee whiz" BEFORE I said "she wizz" out loud
Let me drive the wiener mobile to the darien gap
December 17, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Let me drive the wiener mobile to the darien gap
If Lindsey Buckingham had a dollar for every syllable he squeezed into the word 'road' in Holiday Road, he'd have ten dollars
November 30, 2025 at 11:48 PM
If Lindsey Buckingham had a dollar for every syllable he squeezed into the word 'road' in Holiday Road, he'd have ten dollars
The Landman mans the land
November 6, 2025 at 2:17 AM
The Landman mans the land
Cooperation is short for coin-operation
October 31, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Cooperation is short for coin-operation
I'm hoping to be my own bot someday
October 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I'm hoping to be my own bot someday
People forget King Arthur's claim to fame was free wagon rides and first-time gnome buyer assistance
September 18, 2025 at 3:15 AM
People forget King Arthur's claim to fame was free wagon rides and first-time gnome buyer assistance
I love when everything's perfet
September 11, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I love when everything's perfet
Everyone's always having more froth than me
September 9, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Everyone's always having more froth than me
The last few Pirates of the Caribbean movies look like they were filmed entirely on desktop backgrounds
August 24, 2025 at 3:57 AM
The last few Pirates of the Caribbean movies look like they were filmed entirely on desktop backgrounds
forget dabs, I'm doing dollops
August 9, 2025 at 3:04 PM
forget dabs, I'm doing dollops
"But what if everyone guffaws at me?"
August 2, 2025 at 9:13 PM
"But what if everyone guffaws at me?"
"I have every Criterion, and I've even watched a couple of them."
August 1, 2025 at 12:03 AM
"I have every Criterion, and I've even watched a couple of them."
Does anyone have extra tix for the JG Wentworth Choir reunion tour?
July 29, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Does anyone have extra tix for the JG Wentworth Choir reunion tour?
Fun Dip has the most clinical after taste, it's like they stored the sugar in a hospital
July 29, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Fun Dip has the most clinical after taste, it's like they stored the sugar in a hospital
Sorry, but the new Meet the Parents has to be called The Focker Daughter Wedding
July 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Sorry, but the new Meet the Parents has to be called The Focker Daughter Wedding
I like the supervillain arc where they create a solution for their problems that accidentally gets out of hand.
Mine would be, "I'm building a robot that can DO THINGS RIGHT!"
Mine would be, "I'm building a robot that can DO THINGS RIGHT!"
July 19, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I like the supervillain arc where they create a solution for their problems that accidentally gets out of hand.
Mine would be, "I'm building a robot that can DO THINGS RIGHT!"
Mine would be, "I'm building a robot that can DO THINGS RIGHT!"
The Late Show is the only thing CBS even has, they might as well sell the C, the B, and the S
July 18, 2025 at 3:47 AM
The Late Show is the only thing CBS even has, they might as well sell the C, the B, and the S
"This US minted 24 karat solid gold Trump-Epstein half dollar can be yours for just $59.99. The US mint has released a limited run of commemorative solid gold half dollars featuring the Trump-Epstein letter drawing on one side and the Epstein File Binders on the other..."
July 18, 2025 at 3:35 AM
"This US minted 24 karat solid gold Trump-Epstein half dollar can be yours for just $59.99. The US mint has released a limited run of commemorative solid gold half dollars featuring the Trump-Epstein letter drawing on one side and the Epstein File Binders on the other..."