"you used the wrong formula but somehow still got the right answer" ass moment

Honestly at this point the only thing that stopping me from ending it all is that I can't leave my mother

I don't want to do anything anymore... I don't want to bother... I'm tired

I don't even know what to say anymore... I don't know if there's any point to anything... I'm just rambling in some fleeting pathetic hope that it might actually do anything to make me feel something other than like I'm a piece of dry chewed up buddle gum stuck on the side of an empty road

I've had so many people show me love and kindness, and I feel like a damn brat that it barely does anything to actually make me FEEL better. It just bounces off my stupid brain like it means nothing. Like I'm allergic to actually feeling okay. What is wrong with me.

I don't want to say that I don't want to live, because I know that's not true. But sometimes... Way too often... I really feel like there's no option to get away from everything other than getting away from EVERYTHING. And I feel really ungrateful for even saying that

I'm trying... I'm really fucking trying!! I just wanna be okay! I don't want to keep waking up regretting that another day has started. I don't want to breakdown into hysterics over every tiny little thing. I just want to catch a fucking break. To feel okay for once and actually be right about it

I keep looking at other people, who manage to actually amount to something despite all their pain and trauma, while I'm stuck here sitting in my own puddle of piss crying about it like a brain dead baby. I hate being this weak. I'm TRYING to be better but I just CAN'T

I keep telling myself to breathe, to stay positive, to look on the bright side, to laugh it all away but it's still piling up more with every single day. I feel like a damn cockroach stuck under a stinky shoe, not dead yet but with no way to actually get out and live... And not like I deserve to

I feel like I've been stuck in this sludge hole for my entire life. No matter how much things change for me, they still stay the same. I'm still constantly stressed and anxious, I still feel numb and tired and useless and worthless all the time. I'm still just a pathetic piece of shit

Store canceled my order out of nowhere without returning my money to me and I fucking exploded. I ended up telling my mom I wish I was never born. I am just not at all in a good place mentally right now and all I can do is cry about it

🎵 This is my kingdom come 🎵

If this is a doodle I'm scared to know what your fully rendered pieces look like lmfao this is amazing!

I should prolly stop it already

You have no idea how much those last three words healed me... thank you! 💜

I'm sorry for making you worry, I was a low point but I didn't want to cause anyone trouble. Thank you for your kind words and support, it really meant a lot!

If I suddenly stop posting just assume that I've kicked the bucket. Idgaf anymore