I tried so hard to be strong but I'm only a woman and I didn't trust my mom to buy the sweatpants before they ran out of my size. The sweatpants are very important to me.

I just tell people I have a lung disease. It is both technically true (asthma) and makes them feel like massive assholes.

Honestly you're probably not wrong

The cold makes my asthma worse

She did explicitly tell us that she's married to the hustle

Where did he come from, where did he go, where did he come from Cotton-Eyed Jesus

(I actually had to make two more trips after this but SHHHHHH)

Cinnamon almonds, too! Why the fuck can't I find cinnamon almonds anymore?! Why do I keep losing my favorite snacks?!!