It's too cold this time of year for a good "super balls" shot. Sitting on a warm towel for ten minutes didn't even help.

But when I masturbate, I can do it at the speed of my own pleasure. It doesn't have to try to set a speed record. I don't even have to go fast enough to stay hard the whole time.

I think my area of what's pleasurable is in a zone that's a lot slower than a lot of people. I hear people talk about bouncing on a cock or pounding a pussy or I see them stroking non-stop like a jackhammer, and it's all just overwhelming and alien to me. I CAN'T go that fast.

Everything about it has to be just right. The size, the position, how (very very) slowly it has to go in, how it can move around. And anything outside of that, and everything falls apart.
It might be fun to do, but it just doesn't feel worth the effort.

As far as being penetrated, I've never had a person do it. I can't imagine what kind of negotiations and training I'd have to have someone go through before that could happen.
I've used anal toys. They've given me some of the strongest orgasms I've ever had. But they're such a chore.

Whatever point I want at that moment for the pleasure I want to have.
I've tried using some of those auto-stroker machines, and they end up more like sex, where it starts good, but becomes repetitive and hard to orgasm.

A big part is that I can control every almost aspect of the stimulation in a way that's not possible with a person. Speed, angle, depth, twist, and so on. As I stroke, the direction of the toy is constantly shifting, reacting in real time to apply pressure to the head, shaft, or frenulum.

But when I masturbate, I almost always use a Fleshlight or a sleeve toy, and they don't get boring like that. I really enjoy the all-around stimulation they give me, hitting all the zones at once. It's not just that they have a texture or I can use them without a condom that makes the difference.

I did enjoy the first moments of penetration. That softness and warmth completely surrounding my cock was extremely pleasurable. But then it turned into samey feeling thrusts forever. It felt good, but not great, like it just wasn't giving me stimulation where I needed it.

But all that came under the constant threat that something could go wrong. A hand wandering into a no-go zone. A touch that could turn into a tickle. I could never fully relax and enjoy the good parts with something bad always lurking around the corner.

I'm sure touch aversion didn't help. Normally, I'll tense up when someone tries to touch me. During sex, I had to fight to suppress that response. A lot of it did feel good. Their warmth pressed against my body. My nipples sliding across their chest. A kiss on the neck. Hands holding my back.

I jacked off 94 times last month. Some people see that as that mark of a loser. They're wrong. I had more orgasms then those people did, probably better orgasms than those people did. Seems to me that I'm winning.
And if you disagree, well, I'm too busy stroking to care what you think.

And what pleasure there is! I've given myself so many mind-blowing orgasms. I've sat perfectly on the edge where every stroke is pure ecstasy for an hour. Masturbating, for me, is not a consolation prize, it's not what I do when I can't get laid. It is a treasure on its own merits.

But when I'm masturbating, there's none of that. I can tune in and focus on the pleasure and enjoy it. If I want a five minute quickie, that's what I do. If I want to edge for an hour and then fall asleep, that's what I do. The pleasure is what I want and how I want it.