Evan Nichols
@evannichols.bsky.social
Writer. Ex-IT Professional. Progressive. Diurnal. Fond of Unicorns and Penguins. He/Him
Murder rates are way down in the US. Maybe because everybody's too despondent about Trump's presidency to get mad enough to want to kill anyone else?
#ReallyMakesYouThink
#ReallyMakesYouThink
January 22, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Murder rates are way down in the US. Maybe because everybody's too despondent about Trump's presidency to get mad enough to want to kill anyone else?
#ReallyMakesYouThink
#ReallyMakesYouThink
Today is #PenguinAwarenessDay! Please take a moment and be aware of the penguins in your vicinity.
#ThankYouForReadingThis
#ThankYouForReadingThis
January 20, 2026 at 8:54 PM
Today is #PenguinAwarenessDay! Please take a moment and be aware of the penguins in your vicinity.
#ThankYouForReadingThis
#ThankYouForReadingThis
Remember, Penguin Awareness Day is TOMORROW, but you can practice being aware of penguins today while you celebrate MLK Day!
January 19, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Remember, Penguin Awareness Day is TOMORROW, but you can practice being aware of penguins today while you celebrate MLK Day!
Ever notice how when Progressives get riled up, they want to make things better for everyone, but when Conservatives get riled up, they only want to make things worse for the people they don't like?
#ReallyMakesYouThink #UnlessYouAreConservative
#ReallyMakesYouThink #UnlessYouAreConservative
January 18, 2026 at 8:32 PM
Ever notice how when Progressives get riled up, they want to make things better for everyone, but when Conservatives get riled up, they only want to make things worse for the people they don't like?
#ReallyMakesYouThink #UnlessYouAreConservative
#ReallyMakesYouThink #UnlessYouAreConservative
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
All through the town.
#TheSecretVerseTheyDontWantYouToKnowAbout
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
All through the town.
#TheSecretVerseTheyDontWantYouToKnowAbout
January 17, 2026 at 12:39 AM
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
All through the town.
#TheSecretVerseTheyDontWantYouToKnowAbout
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
The Smurfs on the bus
go Smurf, Smurf, Smurf,
All through the town.
#TheSecretVerseTheyDontWantYouToKnowAbout
Wow, I have NEVER seen anybody so desperate to distract everyone from the contents of the Epstein Files!
January 5, 2026 at 6:36 PM
Wow, I have NEVER seen anybody so desperate to distract everyone from the contents of the Epstein Files!
If you think you’ve been Red-Pilled but you don’t grasp how billionaires, politicians and religious leaders conspire to agitate the 99% so we all fight each other instead of the 1%, then you just got a Blue Pill that was dyed red.
December 31, 2025 at 7:41 PM
If you think you’ve been Red-Pilled but you don’t grasp how billionaires, politicians and religious leaders conspire to agitate the 99% so we all fight each other instead of the 1%, then you just got a Blue Pill that was dyed red.
Prediction for 2026: The discovery of a fourth interstellar object in our solar system will be quickly followed by Avi Loeb publishing his next book: "It's just GOTTA be Aliens THIS TIME!!"
December 20, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Prediction for 2026: The discovery of a fourth interstellar object in our solar system will be quickly followed by Avi Loeb publishing his next book: "It's just GOTTA be Aliens THIS TIME!!"
Well, I guess we'll just have to call the Kennedy Center the Epstein Center now.
#OrTheTrumpEpsteinConnection
#OrTheTrumpEpsteinConnection
December 18, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Well, I guess we'll just have to call the Kennedy Center the Epstein Center now.
#OrTheTrumpEpsteinConnection
#OrTheTrumpEpsteinConnection
In honor of his 100th birthday, an unsolicited Dick pic...
December 13, 2025 at 11:02 PM
In honor of his 100th birthday, an unsolicited Dick pic...
#TodayILearned - When people say "Bring a baked item for an exchange," they don't mean a potato.
#NowIKnowBetter #ItWasAReallyGoodPotatoTho 🥔
#NowIKnowBetter #ItWasAReallyGoodPotatoTho 🥔
December 11, 2025 at 6:56 PM
#TodayILearned - When people say "Bring a baked item for an exchange," they don't mean a potato.
#NowIKnowBetter #ItWasAReallyGoodPotatoTho 🥔
#NowIKnowBetter #ItWasAReallyGoodPotatoTho 🥔
#BusinessIdea - A low-sugar, high-fiber breakfast cereal for adults called Grunts, Grumbles, Grimaces & Groans.
#Brilliant #ShouldCrowdFundThis
#Brilliant #ShouldCrowdFundThis
December 8, 2025 at 6:00 PM
#BusinessIdea - A low-sugar, high-fiber breakfast cereal for adults called Grunts, Grumbles, Grimaces & Groans.
#Brilliant #ShouldCrowdFundThis
#Brilliant #ShouldCrowdFundThis
#PSA - Disco Fever can be treated with antibiotics, but Saturday Night Fever requires antivirals.
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
December 3, 2025 at 8:02 PM
#PSA - Disco Fever can be treated with antibiotics, but Saturday Night Fever requires antivirals.
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
#ForBoogieFeverJustDanceItOut #TheMoreYouKnow
December 2, 2025 at 6:11 PM
December 2, 2025 at 1:57 AM
I wish our Senators and Congresspersons wanted to do the right thing as passionately as Avi Loeb wants interstellar comets to be aliens.
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
November 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I wish our Senators and Congresspersons wanted to do the right thing as passionately as Avi Loeb wants interstellar comets to be aliens.
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#IfWishesWereSpaceships
#ModernSolution - Everyone should put their street address on their house right above where packages are delivered so the proof-of-delivery photos show exactly what address they were delivered to.
#Genius
#Genius
November 9, 2025 at 10:06 PM
#ModernSolution - Everyone should put their street address on their house right above where packages are delivered so the proof-of-delivery photos show exactly what address they were delivered to.
#Genius
#Genius
I'll remember Dick Cheney as a heartless cyborg, kept alive at the end by Science and his insatiable drive to spread evil in the world.
#WillNotBeMissed
#WillNotBeMissed
November 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I'll remember Dick Cheney as a heartless cyborg, kept alive at the end by Science and his insatiable drive to spread evil in the world.
#WillNotBeMissed
#WillNotBeMissed
The news that Dick Cheney is dead does not make me mad.
November 4, 2025 at 4:19 PM
The news that Dick Cheney is dead does not make me mad.
#PressRelease - Going forward, he will be known as The Windsor Formerly Known As Prince Andrew.
#NoActualPunishmentTho
#NoActualPunishmentTho
October 30, 2025 at 11:37 PM
#PressRelease - Going forward, he will be known as The Windsor Formerly Known As Prince Andrew.
#NoActualPunishmentTho
#NoActualPunishmentTho
What if T-Rexs had poetry and they would bellow mournful poems about how having to eat other dinosaurs made them really sad?
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
October 26, 2025 at 6:36 PM
What if T-Rexs had poetry and they would bellow mournful poems about how having to eat other dinosaurs made them really sad?
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
#EmoRex
#DespondentApexPredator
Now might be the time to open a small shop specializing in Guillotine Sales and Service.
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
October 25, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Now might be the time to open a small shop specializing in Guillotine Sales and Service.
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
#FreeSharpeningForATerm
So sad every time I hear that someone from my past has died because that’s one less person on whom I can get revenge.
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
October 20, 2025 at 8:58 PM
So sad every time I hear that someone from my past has died because that’s one less person on whom I can get revenge.
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation
#AtLeastTheyWillBurnInHell
#SomeConsolation