Lydia Esper
@espermagicite.bsky.social
Trans-femme. Parent. Daughter. Sister. She/Her/comrade. I thread a very fine needle. 🏳️⚧️
I wish I didn’t always feel like I’m being lied to. Feel like I’m not being told the whole story. Lied to by omission and basic obfuscation.
I can’t trust.
I can’t trust.
January 29, 2026 at 10:07 PM
I wish I didn’t always feel like I’m being lied to. Feel like I’m not being told the whole story. Lied to by omission and basic obfuscation.
I can’t trust.
I can’t trust.
One relationship taught me that gifts I would give meant nothing.
So I stopped giving gifts.
One relationship taught me that asking for communication fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped asking.
One relationship taught me that all my devotion wasn’t reciprocated.
So I stopped expecting it.
So I stopped giving gifts.
One relationship taught me that asking for communication fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped asking.
One relationship taught me that all my devotion wasn’t reciprocated.
So I stopped expecting it.
January 27, 2026 at 6:47 PM
One relationship taught me that gifts I would give meant nothing.
So I stopped giving gifts.
One relationship taught me that asking for communication fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped asking.
One relationship taught me that all my devotion wasn’t reciprocated.
So I stopped expecting it.
So I stopped giving gifts.
One relationship taught me that asking for communication fell on deaf ears.
So I stopped asking.
One relationship taught me that all my devotion wasn’t reciprocated.
So I stopped expecting it.
Blood runs cold again. I should sleep.
January 18, 2026 at 5:26 AM
Blood runs cold again. I should sleep.
If I’m told nothing my head will fill that void with suspicion and anxiety. I will consciously know that the gremlins are working against me. But I will sill feel it.
January 12, 2026 at 6:20 PM
If I’m told nothing my head will fill that void with suspicion and anxiety. I will consciously know that the gremlins are working against me. But I will sill feel it.
I’m a ray of fucking sunshine.
January 11, 2026 at 6:25 AM
I’m a ray of fucking sunshine.
I don’t fully trust what anybody says beyond my family anymore.
January 11, 2026 at 6:25 AM
I don’t fully trust what anybody says beyond my family anymore.
My nervous system is getting burned out. Hell it probably already is.
a close up of a cartoon character 's face with a bandage on it
ALT: a close up of a cartoon character 's face with a bandage on it
media.tenor.com
January 11, 2026 at 6:23 AM
My nervous system is getting burned out. Hell it probably already is.
Every time I get that inkling my blood runs cold.
Betrayal.
Betrayal.
January 9, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Every time I get that inkling my blood runs cold.
Betrayal.
Betrayal.
Reposted by Lydia Esper
PSA: twitter, X, is doing new terms of service that basically make it so that any comtent you share on there including DMs and photos is theirs and they can use it for "any purpose" including commercial use.
So, if you have a page you’ve left up and don’t want them there’s time to act 1/
So, if you have a page you’ve left up and don’t want them there’s time to act 1/
January 7, 2026 at 12:15 AM
PSA: twitter, X, is doing new terms of service that basically make it so that any comtent you share on there including DMs and photos is theirs and they can use it for "any purpose" including commercial use.
So, if you have a page you’ve left up and don’t want them there’s time to act 1/
So, if you have a page you’ve left up and don’t want them there’s time to act 1/
No one on the outside understands.
I mean.
How could they?
I mean.
How could they?
January 7, 2026 at 2:16 PM
No one on the outside understands.
I mean.
How could they?
I mean.
How could they?
The flashbacks/episodes are beginning to take longer to recover from.
a close up of a cartoon character 's face with a bandage on it
ALT: a close up of a cartoon character 's face with a bandage on it
media.tenor.com
January 5, 2026 at 2:55 AM
The flashbacks/episodes are beginning to take longer to recover from.
I… I just…
a close up of a person 's face with blue eyes and black hair
ALT: a close up of a person 's face with blue eyes and black hair
media.tenor.com
January 2, 2026 at 2:30 AM
I… I just…
I feel like I’m at the beginning again. I hate this.
January 1, 2026 at 9:26 PM
I feel like I’m at the beginning again. I hate this.
Awful dreams last night. Waking world offers its own batch of unwanted intrusive memories on top of that.
a woman with braids is standing in the water looking at something
ALT: a woman with braids is standing in the water looking at something
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Awful dreams last night. Waking world offers its own batch of unwanted intrusive memories on top of that.
Intrusive memories suck. For me it’s like I’m right back in that moment tinged with the emotions/knowledge of knowing how poorly it whatever it was went.
Why can’t they be good ones?
Why can’t they be good ones?
November 22, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Intrusive memories suck. For me it’s like I’m right back in that moment tinged with the emotions/knowledge of knowing how poorly it whatever it was went.
Why can’t they be good ones?
Why can’t they be good ones?
Hopefully soon I’ll know what all this is—
a close up of a girl 's face with blue hair
ALT: a close up of a girl 's face with blue hair
media.tenor.com
November 15, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Hopefully soon I’ll know what all this is—
Reposted by Lydia Esper
right wing bigots have admitted
- the “trans women in bathrooms” issue
- the “trans women in sports” issue and
- the “trans kids getting surgery” issue
were all MADE UP TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY
are you paying attention?
- the “trans women in bathrooms” issue
- the “trans women in sports” issue and
- the “trans kids getting surgery” issue
were all MADE UP TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY
are you paying attention?
October 19, 2025 at 6:40 PM
right wing bigots have admitted
- the “trans women in bathrooms” issue
- the “trans women in sports” issue and
- the “trans kids getting surgery” issue
were all MADE UP TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY
are you paying attention?
- the “trans women in bathrooms” issue
- the “trans women in sports” issue and
- the “trans kids getting surgery” issue
were all MADE UP TO TAKE OUR RIGHTS AWAY
are you paying attention?
Tomorrow is another day.
a close up of a woman with blue hair
Alt: Jinx portraying my feelings.
media.tenor.com
October 20, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Tomorrow is another day.
I don’t like feeling like a number or a plant that needs watering every now and again made to feel placated.
October 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I don’t like feeling like a number or a plant that needs watering every now and again made to feel placated.