This did not happen

Dogman is great. And captain underpants.

Bluegrass Airport in Lexington Kentucky won’t show it either

I was his group leader after school when he was 11! Great guy.

He looks like he’s going to burn it down with farts

They only eat gravy train dog food.

Life is terrifying when Rand Paul and Thomas Massie are the reasonable ones.

I hate that a google search for “big balls beaten” yields news results.

I’m 90% certain I was wearing Chuck Taylors. It really was terrifying.

This literally happened to me when I was 11. My shoe got caught in the escalator and it tore off half the shoe before someone hit the emergency stop button. Luckily I was in a mall so we just went and bought new shoes.