Elijah Zarlin
@elijahion.bsky.social
If dad jokes were funny, they’d just be called jokes.
Digital at @yellowdotstudios.bsky.social
Believe the sun exists.
Digital at @yellowdotstudios.bsky.social
Believe the sun exists.
Kid: Alexa, play Christmas music.
Me: Can we listen to something else? there’s nothing worse than Christmas music.
Kid: Alexa, play Chanukah music.
Me: Correction…
Me: Can we listen to something else? there’s nothing worse than Christmas music.
Kid: Alexa, play Chanukah music.
Me: Correction…
November 29, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Kid: Alexa, play Christmas music.
Me: Can we listen to something else? there’s nothing worse than Christmas music.
Kid: Alexa, play Chanukah music.
Me: Correction…
Me: Can we listen to something else? there’s nothing worse than Christmas music.
Kid: Alexa, play Chanukah music.
Me: Correction…
I don't think a sitting president has ever been roasted more savagely or painfully (for him).
November 16, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I don't think a sitting president has ever been roasted more savagely or painfully (for him).
Maybe the internet isn't so bad after all
November 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Maybe the internet isn't so bad after all
“Report: IDF Destroyed Over 1,500 Buildings in IDF-controlled Parts of Gaza Since Cease-fire Took Effect”
November 12, 2025 at 7:53 PM
“Report: IDF Destroyed Over 1,500 Buildings in IDF-controlled Parts of Gaza Since Cease-fire Took Effect”
The way my children say "Ahtohallan!" as if it's like a real place and not a patently absurd jumble of letters.
November 12, 2025 at 6:49 PM
The way my children say "Ahtohallan!" as if it's like a real place and not a patently absurd jumble of letters.
Right. The shutdown cave is just another fart in the wind from the party that only seems to know how to fart in the wind.
The Shutdown Surrender
I just... I mean... Whatever.
davekarpf.substack.com
November 10, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Right. The shutdown cave is just another fart in the wind from the party that only seems to know how to fart in the wind.
Federal employees are sacrificing so much to be a bulwark against Oligarchy, and because they actually believe in the essential project of government. It sucks on so many levels that the Dems are shitting all over them for nothing.
www.gravityisgone.com/a-slap-in-th... by @davelevitan.bsky.social
www.gravityisgone.com/a-slap-in-th... by @davelevitan.bsky.social
November 10, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Federal employees are sacrificing so much to be a bulwark against Oligarchy, and because they actually believe in the essential project of government. It sucks on so many levels that the Dems are shitting all over them for nothing.
www.gravityisgone.com/a-slap-in-th... by @davelevitan.bsky.social
www.gravityisgone.com/a-slap-in-th... by @davelevitan.bsky.social
Everyone: Wow the Dems have the slightest bit of mojo, even if it is just backlash against Tru-
Dems: GUYS, QUICK, LET’S GET RID OF THIS MOJO
Dems: GUYS, QUICK, LET’S GET RID OF THIS MOJO
November 10, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Everyone: Wow the Dems have the slightest bit of mojo, even if it is just backlash against Tru-
Dems: GUYS, QUICK, LET’S GET RID OF THIS MOJO
Dems: GUYS, QUICK, LET’S GET RID OF THIS MOJO
Now that we’re electing full throated Socialist Muslims, how are the Republicans gonna smear people?
November 5, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Now that we’re electing full throated Socialist Muslims, how are the Republicans gonna smear people?
In all seriousness I can’t think of a bigger US threat to Jewish values than the ADL
It took the ADL like four days to respond to Nick Fuentes breaking into the mainstream last week
November 5, 2025 at 4:00 AM
In all seriousness I can’t think of a bigger US threat to Jewish values than the ADL
Eat the Rich but make it palatable for everyone
BREAKING: Colorado voters approved a ballot measure that would raise state income taxes on higher-earning households to fund free meals for all public school students.
Follow AP for live updates.
Follow AP for live updates.
Live updates: US voters head to the polls in first general election since Trump's return to power
One year after Donald Trump retook the presidency, 2025 Election Day includes closely watched races for New York City mayor, New Jersey governor and California's Proposition 50.
bit.ly
November 5, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Eat the Rich but make it palatable for everyone
Accurate election analysis from the 8 year old: “Did you hear the news? Trump farted!”
(Granted, it is probably an aneurism and multiple sharts, but I’ll count it.)
(Granted, it is probably an aneurism and multiple sharts, but I’ll count it.)
November 5, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Accurate election analysis from the 8 year old: “Did you hear the news? Trump farted!”
(Granted, it is probably an aneurism and multiple sharts, but I’ll count it.)
(Granted, it is probably an aneurism and multiple sharts, but I’ll count it.)
“Deir Al-Balah, Gaza Strip — Israel’s military said Wednesday that the ceasefire was back on in Gaza after it carried out heavy airstrikes overnight across the Palestinian territory that killed 104 people, including 66 women and children, according to local health officials.”
October 30, 2025 at 4:38 AM
“Deir Al-Balah, Gaza Strip — Israel’s military said Wednesday that the ceasefire was back on in Gaza after it carried out heavy airstrikes overnight across the Palestinian territory that killed 104 people, including 66 women and children, according to local health officials.”
"I will no longer look for myself in the shadows. I find myself in the light."
Absolute class. Reminiscent of Obama's race speech in Philadelphia in 2008, his moral high point.
This is what real leaders do.
Absolute class. Reminiscent of Obama's race speech in Philadelphia in 2008, his moral high point.
This is what real leaders do.
Zohran Mamdani just gave an address about being Muslim and the experiences of Muslims in NYC, and it's really fucking moving:
LIVE | Zohran Mamdani gives remarks on Islamophobia outside a mosque in the Bronx, NYC
YouTube video by Eyewitness News ABC7NY
www.youtube.com
October 24, 2025 at 6:15 PM
"I will no longer look for myself in the shadows. I find myself in the light."
Absolute class. Reminiscent of Obama's race speech in Philadelphia in 2008, his moral high point.
This is what real leaders do.
Absolute class. Reminiscent of Obama's race speech in Philadelphia in 2008, his moral high point.
This is what real leaders do.
Is it cause he doesn't like bedbugs, Bret Stephens?
"A good place to start is to concede that nothing in the public record suggests Mamdani is antisemitic" Ok cool, good talk, bedbug!
"A good place to start is to concede that nothing in the public record suggests Mamdani is antisemitic" Ok cool, good talk, bedbug!
Opinion | Why Mamdani Frightens Jews Like Me
www.nytimes.com
October 22, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Is it cause he doesn't like bedbugs, Bret Stephens?
"A good place to start is to concede that nothing in the public record suggests Mamdani is antisemitic" Ok cool, good talk, bedbug!
"A good place to start is to concede that nothing in the public record suggests Mamdani is antisemitic" Ok cool, good talk, bedbug!
Lol was it something I said @captmarkkelly.bsky.social?
October 22, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Lol was it something I said @captmarkkelly.bsky.social?
“I told you so” to MAGA, sure. But also “I told you so” to all the Dems whose answer to rising corporate corruption and inequality and extremism was to run screaming from the progressive policies and pols that are actually popular.
Contributor: As Trump's reign implodes, tell MAGA 'I told you so'
Treat Trumpists like adults and confront them with how wrong they have been. Americans who are still connected to reality owe it to their right-wing neighbors to be honest.
www.latimes.com
October 8, 2025 at 7:54 PM
“I told you so” to MAGA, sure. But also “I told you so” to all the Dems whose answer to rising corporate corruption and inequality and extremism was to run screaming from the progressive policies and pols that are actually popular.
Sure, on the one hand, Democratic Scam PACs are bad. But on the other, it’s where I get to do my sickest burns.
September 30, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Sure, on the one hand, Democratic Scam PACs are bad. But on the other, it’s where I get to do my sickest burns.
You want some f*ckin cancel cultureDisney, you got it.
September 18, 2025 at 4:14 PM
You want some f*ckin cancel cultureDisney, you got it.
Lol. No pun intended I’m suuuuuure.
September 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Lol. No pun intended I’m suuuuuure.
I missed this last month but it’s a beautiful 20 min antidote to our prevailing rhetoric and blameless bullshit.
Two Jews and Americans talking thoughtfully about an atrocity and their own complicity in it. Yasher koach you menches.
Two Jews and Americans talking thoughtfully about an atrocity and their own complicity in it. Yasher koach you menches.
Peter Beinart - "Being Jewish After the Destruction of Gaza: A Reckoning" | The Daily Show
YouTube video by The Daily Show
youtu.be
September 11, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I missed this last month but it’s a beautiful 20 min antidote to our prevailing rhetoric and blameless bullshit.
Two Jews and Americans talking thoughtfully about an atrocity and their own complicity in it. Yasher koach you menches.
Two Jews and Americans talking thoughtfully about an atrocity and their own complicity in it. Yasher koach you menches.
As a fellow activist and more importantly, fellow father, I will say this about Charlie Kirk: He was a bad dad. Parents make decisions for our kids. His was a career supporting policies that data shows would make his kid's world more dangerous. I'm sure he loved his kids. But that's bad parenting.
September 10, 2025 at 11:15 PM
As a fellow activist and more importantly, fellow father, I will say this about Charlie Kirk: He was a bad dad. Parents make decisions for our kids. His was a career supporting policies that data shows would make his kid's world more dangerous. I'm sure he loved his kids. But that's bad parenting.
Statistically speaking, it is possible that every MAGA dude has a tiny dick (below average, technically) and that certainly appears to be the case.
ICE used your taxpayer dollars to trick out a bunch of trucks in new livery, all painted black with "ICE" and a logo printed in gold on the side (and Trump's name in gold on the back window), then shoot a rap video in DC to post on social media.
I am not making this up.
I am not making this up.
August 15, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Statistically speaking, it is possible that every MAGA dude has a tiny dick (below average, technically) and that certainly appears to be the case.
These @actblueorg.bsky.social policy changes should do a lot to hamstring Mothership’s self-dealing scam PACS and the like. But these policies would have done more if they’s been enacted years ago. Mothership’s grift has been open and obvious for a long time.
August 7, 2025 at 2:10 PM
These @actblueorg.bsky.social policy changes should do a lot to hamstring Mothership’s self-dealing scam PACS and the like. But these policies would have done more if they’s been enacted years ago. Mothership’s grift has been open and obvious for a long time.