People will lie about this kind of stuff because they are trying to sell you a diet or some ridiculous exercise plan. Just take care of your mental & physical health in the best way that you can. There's too much going on in the world for one person's bodies to be bothering people this much.

Not because it's actually bad but because other people say it's bad. So, I have to believe that some people's bodies default to being smaller. There's a lot we don't know about how human bodies work. So much of what people say or believe is bullshit. Think for yourself but do legitimate research.

The point being: you don't know someone else's body. People's bodies work differently. & I know saying this is going to bring out the "calories in calories out" bros but it's true. The fact that my body defaults to being overweight is something I struggle with to this day.

Real talk I didn't like a guy who actually liked me back until I was 22. Some of us are green & some of us are 6' tall. Dudes are intimidated by dumb shit 🤷‍♀️

Yes I know he's literally naked but idk maybe he's too warm

Follow up: my manager actually acknowledged me today in a staff meeting & apologized for not saying anything yesterday. But I was fully ready to tell everyone how hurt I was & not simply swallow my feelings. So I'm still going to tell my therapist about it because this was actually a big step for me

Some of you have never been the weird girl who can't tell when a guy likes her because it almost never happens & it shows

& the ways that relationships are different under the threat of constant war. Also the fact that they were raised to essentially NOT have romantic relationships... Anyway I'm sure I'll have a lot more thoughts on it...

& I'm still trying to decide if that was intentional or not. I'm not familiar with how people generally feel about this aspect of the story. I'm really trying to take into account things like the world that they lived in, gender roles per Oceania,

I don't know why I wrote it like that. 3:20 is just before the vocals begin

Vocals start at 3:20

(but also wondered if they left it off the soundtrack because it's kind of a spoiler). I'm so happy that it exists. I'm going to sob tonight when I finally get to see this movie guys

Elphaba singing an octave below Glinda (who is mourning the loss of her best friend) is gorgeous & haunting. You can actually feel the weight that both of them now carry because of what they were forced to do in order to survive. I was so sad when I thought that they took it out or changed it

& I know my brain is blowing this out of proportion but it still hurts. It hurts to feel like I don't matter & like my presence & contributions to this company don't matter. Even in the most transparent & contrived ways (a work anniversary) they've made it feel like I'm not even worth acknowledging.

You would also have to understand my personal life traumas to understand why this is hurtful to me. In short, it stems from constant invalidation as a child & having a parent who has never wanted a relationship with me & barely acknowledged me even though he was "present" in the home I grew up in.

Also, just a side note: I'm finally old enough to play Diana in Next to Normal if anyone wants to cast me. I'll just put it out into the universe & leave it there...