Yep, had my titers for All The Things run as I go start my new job. Nothing needed but it sure is good to know

Who knew this was what being alive at the end of the world would feel like? SMH

So, no matter what, I love you. You're the man I modeled myself on more than any other. I just want you to know where my head is at.

So here I am in the wee hours writing out my fears just hoping that you will be open. I don't really want to discuss or debate the merits of political ideologies. I just want you to know that I'm really scared and I'm legitimately scared. We're not just making up the threat, it's real

Even decades after becoming adults and forming our own secure foundations, the urge to be Seen by the core parent is so real.

Or somehow allow me to not feel so scared and alone in this terror. I mean, I have D and some brilliant friends and colleagues. But when it comes all the way down to it, we are all still looking for that secure base- safety and home- in the form of our parents.

Ironically, my therapist pointed out that the grief also comes from this feeling that, "if only I could convince you" in this case the you is you, Richard, "If only I could convince you that this is real and the world is not ok" somehow that would unlock the way to accomplish change...

I wish... I fervently hope that we are over worried. But we're hoping for the best, working for the good, and planning for the worst.

I'm working on licensure in several countries and we may qualify for medical or LGBTQ refugee status in a few places that would also recognize my doctorate

We also have the "we have a month before the country shuts down all of our medical care and tells us that we're now being viewed as a threat" plans.

So then our bodies become a real inconvenience. And when authoritarian regimes see threats, those threats meet force.

We've packed emergency bug out bags and we have all our legal documents with us.

As a queer trans person, I am faced with genuine existential threat. It's not just the loss of ideals, this regime has made it clear that trans people will be erased. Of course, just because we are being erased from the federal and state governments doesn't mean we cease to be.