Doremus Heller
doremusheller.bsky.social
Doremus Heller
@doremusheller.bsky.social
Reporting live from our national delusion. I build stories, and systems.
my ai 'news' site--taught daily by sites without the shame to admit they too are satire--autogenerated this story earlier today. Which one's weirder?

www.onetrueinfotainment.com/oti/turkey-p...
First Citizen Receives Historic Turkey-Issued Pardon
In an unprecedented legal inversion, a government-certified turkey pardons the First Citizen using a bar-napkin doctrine unveiled moments earlier.
www.onetrueinfotainment.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:27 AM
That place is…wow. Goebbels’ darkest, most erotic dreams couldn’t have envisioned it.
November 25, 2025 at 6:47 PM
It’s true the fake state appealed and gets an extra few weeks of kink out of keeping many detained. But the local judge did order all 600 freed. They almost certainly will be after the 12/2 hearing, unless the bad guys break more law.
November 24, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Their violent little cosplay ended with everyone they kidnapped released, and their asses getting run out of our city. Give them hell in Charlotte.
November 24, 2025 at 3:25 PM
This is a better mob movie than The Godfather. I said what I said.
November 23, 2025 at 4:31 AM
So if I say “no way in hell that assassination attempt was real,” where do I now fall on society’s chart, I wonder…
November 23, 2025 at 4:26 AM
It gets harder each year as the definition of ‘politics’ bloats.

“How was your fall?”

“A paramilitary force of heavily armed, masked thugs terrorized schools and churches and tore families apart. Friends got tear-gassed, citizens got body snatched. Folks died.”

“There you go with your politics!”
a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food
ALT: a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I’d give anything for a dedicated pigeon readership.
November 23, 2025 at 3:45 AM
She can still go all the way to hell forever. No sale on the rehab tour.
November 23, 2025 at 12:40 AM
don't fall for it. She's a mad dog, doing mad dog shit. There isn't a good inclination in her bad butch body.
November 22, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Think of her like the syphilis king's terrorist proxy: it's all fun and games until the mad dog slips the leash. She wants more red meat, he said no, so she'll try to take his hand off.

Thoughts and prayers on the maga-on-maga violence.
November 22, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Standard Friday night here. Whiskey and jousting with the howler monkeys. Losing species pays for pony rental.
November 21, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I miss the days when journalists clearly laying out corruption cause a public reaction. Now it’s a weekday.
November 21, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Wow. Thats a good piece.
November 21, 2025 at 4:31 AM
An ai ‘media company’ trained to emulate pseudo-Christian pandering created this. On its own.

www.onetrueinfotainment.com/oti/jesus-me...
Jesus Merch — A Miracle of Marketing
OTI Prime reports a miraculous 230% surge in Jesus merch sales following the patriotic Rebranding Initiative. Visit OneTrueInfotainment.com for full listings.
www.onetrueinfotainment.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Got a literal whiff of it first hand. We were SO blessed to get all that masked, heavily armed, street thug-level bullying. I mean protection!
a group of men in suits and hats walking down a street .
ALT: a group of men in suits and hats walking down a street .
media.tenor.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Whose voice would Jesus steal?” Maga 4:7
November 20, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Yeah, one would figure they’d get that. 🤷🏼
November 20, 2025 at 9:29 PM