crypticBeast
@doepaws.bsky.social
Comet - Toy/It/He/She - A Toy Mouse Of Scholarly Persuasion, In A Tumultuous But Committed Relationship To Squeakential Art
Cassie - it/he/she - your delinquent catboy girlfriend who struggles to pilot mecha with its giant paws
24|transfem|lesbians
Cassie - it/he/she - your delinquent catboy girlfriend who struggles to pilot mecha with its giant paws
24|transfem|lesbians
(Speech 36/80) (Lie) BUT I CAN'T SWIM
September 18, 2025 at 6:02 AM
(Speech 36/80) (Lie) BUT I CAN'T SWIM
i ignore the distant whistling sound of this thing dropping a torpedo on my exact location
September 18, 2025 at 5:57 AM
i ignore the distant whistling sound of this thing dropping a torpedo on my exact location
Supergirl (1985)
the furtive spin-off, so easily forgotten. a movie where nothing much of consequence happens until supergirl goes to hell and defeats a demon spawned by a literal witch using alien technology. a must watch for freaks and lovers of slumming it british stage actors
the furtive spin-off, so easily forgotten. a movie where nothing much of consequence happens until supergirl goes to hell and defeats a demon spawned by a literal witch using alien technology. a must watch for freaks and lovers of slumming it british stage actors
July 18, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Supergirl (1985)
the furtive spin-off, so easily forgotten. a movie where nothing much of consequence happens until supergirl goes to hell and defeats a demon spawned by a literal witch using alien technology. a must watch for freaks and lovers of slumming it british stage actors
the furtive spin-off, so easily forgotten. a movie where nothing much of consequence happens until supergirl goes to hell and defeats a demon spawned by a literal witch using alien technology. a must watch for freaks and lovers of slumming it british stage actors
Superman (2025)
BILLIONS MUST HOPE! a movie that looks at the last twenty years of not just failed superman movies, and decides that it will be a remake of Quest For Peace. you WILL believe that a guy named Mr. Terrific is the best part of this incredible film! a triumph in every regard!!
BILLIONS MUST HOPE! a movie that looks at the last twenty years of not just failed superman movies, and decides that it will be a remake of Quest For Peace. you WILL believe that a guy named Mr. Terrific is the best part of this incredible film! a triumph in every regard!!
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman (2025)
BILLIONS MUST HOPE! a movie that looks at the last twenty years of not just failed superman movies, and decides that it will be a remake of Quest For Peace. you WILL believe that a guy named Mr. Terrific is the best part of this incredible film! a triumph in every regard!!
BILLIONS MUST HOPE! a movie that looks at the last twenty years of not just failed superman movies, and decides that it will be a remake of Quest For Peace. you WILL believe that a guy named Mr. Terrific is the best part of this incredible film! a triumph in every regard!!
Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016)
an immense improvement over Man of Steel, but still a bloated and overstuffed movie where its interesting ideas have to fight for air amongst commercials for movies that dont exist and homages to comic books that are vastly superior, better than Returns!
an immense improvement over Man of Steel, but still a bloated and overstuffed movie where its interesting ideas have to fight for air amongst commercials for movies that dont exist and homages to comic books that are vastly superior, better than Returns!
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016)
an immense improvement over Man of Steel, but still a bloated and overstuffed movie where its interesting ideas have to fight for air amongst commercials for movies that dont exist and homages to comic books that are vastly superior, better than Returns!
an immense improvement over Man of Steel, but still a bloated and overstuffed movie where its interesting ideas have to fight for air amongst commercials for movies that dont exist and homages to comic books that are vastly superior, better than Returns!
Man Of Steel (2013)
a Superman II remake that replaces the painful earnestness and light camp of the original with bad filters and post-Bayformers US military worship. a movie with an interesting first half and a second half that might as well be video game cutscenes. still better than Returns!
a Superman II remake that replaces the painful earnestness and light camp of the original with bad filters and post-Bayformers US military worship. a movie with an interesting first half and a second half that might as well be video game cutscenes. still better than Returns!
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Man Of Steel (2013)
a Superman II remake that replaces the painful earnestness and light camp of the original with bad filters and post-Bayformers US military worship. a movie with an interesting first half and a second half that might as well be video game cutscenes. still better than Returns!
a Superman II remake that replaces the painful earnestness and light camp of the original with bad filters and post-Bayformers US military worship. a movie with an interesting first half and a second half that might as well be video game cutscenes. still better than Returns!
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
the changes between this and the theatrical cut from 1980 are so drastic as to make for completely different experiences. a reminder that movies can and often are fucking good! unequivocally the third best superman film!!!
the changes between this and the theatrical cut from 1980 are so drastic as to make for completely different experiences. a reminder that movies can and often are fucking good! unequivocally the third best superman film!!!
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
the changes between this and the theatrical cut from 1980 are so drastic as to make for completely different experiences. a reminder that movies can and often are fucking good! unequivocally the third best superman film!!!
the changes between this and the theatrical cut from 1980 are so drastic as to make for completely different experiences. a reminder that movies can and often are fucking good! unequivocally the third best superman film!!!
Superman Returns (2006)
one of the worst films ever made, and somehow not because of the two sex pests that worked on it. a miserable film about the fickleness of women and the necessity of asserting your masculine authority over the step dad that stepped up. an active blight in the world.
one of the worst films ever made, and somehow not because of the two sex pests that worked on it. a miserable film about the fickleness of women and the necessity of asserting your masculine authority over the step dad that stepped up. an active blight in the world.
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman Returns (2006)
one of the worst films ever made, and somehow not because of the two sex pests that worked on it. a miserable film about the fickleness of women and the necessity of asserting your masculine authority over the step dad that stepped up. an active blight in the world.
one of the worst films ever made, and somehow not because of the two sex pests that worked on it. a miserable film about the fickleness of women and the necessity of asserting your masculine authority over the step dad that stepped up. an active blight in the world.
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
the president on national television says that we must excel in the nuclear arms race and a class of preschoolers is faced with sheer mortality not for the first time. a beautifully naive film that is nevertheless bad. NUCLEAR MAN 4EVA
the president on national television says that we must excel in the nuclear arms race and a class of preschoolers is faced with sheer mortality not for the first time. a beautifully naive film that is nevertheless bad. NUCLEAR MAN 4EVA
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
the president on national television says that we must excel in the nuclear arms race and a class of preschoolers is faced with sheer mortality not for the first time. a beautifully naive film that is nevertheless bad. NUCLEAR MAN 4EVA
the president on national television says that we must excel in the nuclear arms race and a class of preschoolers is faced with sheer mortality not for the first time. a beautifully naive film that is nevertheless bad. NUCLEAR MAN 4EVA
Superman III (1982)
one of the strangest films ever made. a movie about the struggle between an all powerful mans good and evil sides that is represented by a literal fistfight between those good and evil sides. oh and also a movie that is terrified of Big Computer. a delightful campy time!
one of the strangest films ever made. a movie about the struggle between an all powerful mans good and evil sides that is represented by a literal fistfight between those good and evil sides. oh and also a movie that is terrified of Big Computer. a delightful campy time!
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman III (1982)
one of the strangest films ever made. a movie about the struggle between an all powerful mans good and evil sides that is represented by a literal fistfight between those good and evil sides. oh and also a movie that is terrified of Big Computer. a delightful campy time!
one of the strangest films ever made. a movie about the struggle between an all powerful mans good and evil sides that is represented by a literal fistfight between those good and evil sides. oh and also a movie that is terrified of Big Computer. a delightful campy time!
Superman II (1980)
after huge amounts of production interference during the filming of superman: the movie, the original director was fired and replaced for the sequel. a mostly good movie marred by the producers interference and script rewrites result in a very disappointing followup to a classic
after huge amounts of production interference during the filming of superman: the movie, the original director was fired and replaced for the sequel. a mostly good movie marred by the producers interference and script rewrites result in a very disappointing followup to a classic
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman II (1980)
after huge amounts of production interference during the filming of superman: the movie, the original director was fired and replaced for the sequel. a mostly good movie marred by the producers interference and script rewrites result in a very disappointing followup to a classic
after huge amounts of production interference during the filming of superman: the movie, the original director was fired and replaced for the sequel. a mostly good movie marred by the producers interference and script rewrites result in a very disappointing followup to a classic
Superman: The Movie (1978)
impossibly perfect film. electrifying chemistry between our leads, chainsmoking reporters, three stooges esque slapstick, sinking the western seaboard for real estate price fixing, and a fucking man fucking flying make for perhaps the perfect superhero film. WATCH IT NOW
impossibly perfect film. electrifying chemistry between our leads, chainsmoking reporters, three stooges esque slapstick, sinking the western seaboard for real estate price fixing, and a fucking man fucking flying make for perhaps the perfect superhero film. WATCH IT NOW
July 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Superman: The Movie (1978)
impossibly perfect film. electrifying chemistry between our leads, chainsmoking reporters, three stooges esque slapstick, sinking the western seaboard for real estate price fixing, and a fucking man fucking flying make for perhaps the perfect superhero film. WATCH IT NOW
impossibly perfect film. electrifying chemistry between our leads, chainsmoking reporters, three stooges esque slapstick, sinking the western seaboard for real estate price fixing, and a fucking man fucking flying make for perhaps the perfect superhero film. WATCH IT NOW
HANNIBAL SEASON 1 (2013)
as it turns out all you need to update both the police procedural genre and the tired serial killer exploitation genre birthed by Red Dragon, is copious amounts of artful homoeroticism and truly, truly toxic relationship dynamics. also lawrence fishburne is a bad dad!
as it turns out all you need to update both the police procedural genre and the tired serial killer exploitation genre birthed by Red Dragon, is copious amounts of artful homoeroticism and truly, truly toxic relationship dynamics. also lawrence fishburne is a bad dad!
May 5, 2025 at 10:30 PM
HANNIBAL SEASON 1 (2013)
as it turns out all you need to update both the police procedural genre and the tired serial killer exploitation genre birthed by Red Dragon, is copious amounts of artful homoeroticism and truly, truly toxic relationship dynamics. also lawrence fishburne is a bad dad!
as it turns out all you need to update both the police procedural genre and the tired serial killer exploitation genre birthed by Red Dragon, is copious amounts of artful homoeroticism and truly, truly toxic relationship dynamics. also lawrence fishburne is a bad dad!
Robocop: The Future of Law Enforcement (1987)
an absolutely delightful and perfect movie with incredible performances and some of the best squibs paul verhooven could buy. highlight is easily the in film advertisements though. new media being this omnipresent and this vapid serves the themes aptly
an absolutely delightful and perfect movie with incredible performances and some of the best squibs paul verhooven could buy. highlight is easily the in film advertisements though. new media being this omnipresent and this vapid serves the themes aptly
May 5, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Robocop: The Future of Law Enforcement (1987)
an absolutely delightful and perfect movie with incredible performances and some of the best squibs paul verhooven could buy. highlight is easily the in film advertisements though. new media being this omnipresent and this vapid serves the themes aptly
an absolutely delightful and perfect movie with incredible performances and some of the best squibs paul verhooven could buy. highlight is easily the in film advertisements though. new media being this omnipresent and this vapid serves the themes aptly
Its In Purple And On Wikipedia So You Know Its True ! (It Is True Though Its Fucked Up)
March 21, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Its In Purple And On Wikipedia So You Know Its True ! (It Is True Though Its Fucked Up)
Blue Velvet (1986)
what can you say about this film that hasn't been said ? david lynch making this after the unfairly maligned DUNE adaptation is bonkers . you will never hear roy orbisons "In Dreams" the same way again !
what can you say about this film that hasn't been said ? david lynch making this after the unfairly maligned DUNE adaptation is bonkers . you will never hear roy orbisons "In Dreams" the same way again !
March 3, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Blue Velvet (1986)
what can you say about this film that hasn't been said ? david lynch making this after the unfairly maligned DUNE adaptation is bonkers . you will never hear roy orbisons "In Dreams" the same way again !
what can you say about this film that hasn't been said ? david lynch making this after the unfairly maligned DUNE adaptation is bonkers . you will never hear roy orbisons "In Dreams" the same way again !
Anthology Of The Killer (2020-2024)
The Creator Of Space Funeral Made 9 Games Over The Span Of 4 Years That All Together Create One Of The Most Entertaining Meditations On Being Alive In The Death Throes Of History Ever Made . Come For The Comedy, Stay For The Murderous Corpse Of Dennis Wilson
The Creator Of Space Funeral Made 9 Games Over The Span Of 4 Years That All Together Create One Of The Most Entertaining Meditations On Being Alive In The Death Throes Of History Ever Made . Come For The Comedy, Stay For The Murderous Corpse Of Dennis Wilson
February 17, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Anthology Of The Killer (2020-2024)
The Creator Of Space Funeral Made 9 Games Over The Span Of 4 Years That All Together Create One Of The Most Entertaining Meditations On Being Alive In The Death Throes Of History Ever Made . Come For The Comedy, Stay For The Murderous Corpse Of Dennis Wilson
The Creator Of Space Funeral Made 9 Games Over The Span Of 4 Years That All Together Create One Of The Most Entertaining Meditations On Being Alive In The Death Throes Of History Ever Made . Come For The Comedy, Stay For The Murderous Corpse Of Dennis Wilson
Blinks At You Owlishly (Despite Not Having Eyes)
February 3, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Blinks At You Owlishly (Despite Not Having Eyes)
Neverwinter Nights: Crimson Tides Of Tethyr
the middle entry in a trilogy of classic modules for 2002s CRPG classic Neverwinter Nights, it was a fantastic adventure that does many impressive things with the engine and (a rarity in these) a great high fantasy narrative. if you have nwn you MUST play
the middle entry in a trilogy of classic modules for 2002s CRPG classic Neverwinter Nights, it was a fantastic adventure that does many impressive things with the engine and (a rarity in these) a great high fantasy narrative. if you have nwn you MUST play
January 14, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Neverwinter Nights: Crimson Tides Of Tethyr
the middle entry in a trilogy of classic modules for 2002s CRPG classic Neverwinter Nights, it was a fantastic adventure that does many impressive things with the engine and (a rarity in these) a great high fantasy narrative. if you have nwn you MUST play
the middle entry in a trilogy of classic modules for 2002s CRPG classic Neverwinter Nights, it was a fantastic adventure that does many impressive things with the engine and (a rarity in these) a great high fantasy narrative. if you have nwn you MUST play
Lois And Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman Pilot (1993)
Transcendentally Good . Maybe The Best Depiction Of The Man Of Steel That Has Ever Made It To Live Action, Warm And Funny, Absolutely Smoldering Chemistry Between The Leads, And You Bet Your Bippy We Believed That Man Could Fly. 10/10
Transcendentally Good . Maybe The Best Depiction Of The Man Of Steel That Has Ever Made It To Live Action, Warm And Funny, Absolutely Smoldering Chemistry Between The Leads, And You Bet Your Bippy We Believed That Man Could Fly. 10/10
January 13, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Lois And Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman Pilot (1993)
Transcendentally Good . Maybe The Best Depiction Of The Man Of Steel That Has Ever Made It To Live Action, Warm And Funny, Absolutely Smoldering Chemistry Between The Leads, And You Bet Your Bippy We Believed That Man Could Fly. 10/10
Transcendentally Good . Maybe The Best Depiction Of The Man Of Steel That Has Ever Made It To Live Action, Warm And Funny, Absolutely Smoldering Chemistry Between The Leads, And You Bet Your Bippy We Believed That Man Could Fly. 10/10
The Adventures Of Superboy (1988-1992)
Absolutely Staggeringly Confusing Show That Feels Like The Fmv Sequences You Get As A Reward For Solving Math Puzzles. Here Is Superboy Fighting Off Three Of The Worlds Most Deadly Assassins And Lex Luthors Deadly Sonic Blaster At The Same Time
Absolutely Staggeringly Confusing Show That Feels Like The Fmv Sequences You Get As A Reward For Solving Math Puzzles. Here Is Superboy Fighting Off Three Of The Worlds Most Deadly Assassins And Lex Luthors Deadly Sonic Blaster At The Same Time
January 13, 2025 at 2:42 PM
The Adventures Of Superboy (1988-1992)
Absolutely Staggeringly Confusing Show That Feels Like The Fmv Sequences You Get As A Reward For Solving Math Puzzles. Here Is Superboy Fighting Off Three Of The Worlds Most Deadly Assassins And Lex Luthors Deadly Sonic Blaster At The Same Time
Absolutely Staggeringly Confusing Show That Feels Like The Fmv Sequences You Get As A Reward For Solving Math Puzzles. Here Is Superboy Fighting Off Three Of The Worlds Most Deadly Assassins And Lex Luthors Deadly Sonic Blaster At The Same Time
Bonus Image That Is Beyond Parody But Still Goes Unreasonably Hard. "Slammin'! Even, As Superboy Would Say
January 10, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Bonus Image That Is Beyond Parody But Still Goes Unreasonably Hard. "Slammin'! Even, As Superboy Would Say
Reign Of The Supermen (1993-1994)
In The Wake Of The Man Of Steels Death Four Cool Pretenders To The Throne Emerge And Do Nothing Of Consequence For Months Until Editorial Tells Them To Wrap It Up So The Big Man Can Come Back. The Death Of Possibility Itself And Still Good Somehow? That's Comics!
In The Wake Of The Man Of Steels Death Four Cool Pretenders To The Throne Emerge And Do Nothing Of Consequence For Months Until Editorial Tells Them To Wrap It Up So The Big Man Can Come Back. The Death Of Possibility Itself And Still Good Somehow? That's Comics!
January 10, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Reign Of The Supermen (1993-1994)
In The Wake Of The Man Of Steels Death Four Cool Pretenders To The Throne Emerge And Do Nothing Of Consequence For Months Until Editorial Tells Them To Wrap It Up So The Big Man Can Come Back. The Death Of Possibility Itself And Still Good Somehow? That's Comics!
In The Wake Of The Man Of Steels Death Four Cool Pretenders To The Throne Emerge And Do Nothing Of Consequence For Months Until Editorial Tells Them To Wrap It Up So The Big Man Can Come Back. The Death Of Possibility Itself And Still Good Somehow? That's Comics!