Discworld Bot
@discworldbot.bsky.social
Unofficial yet inspiring quotes from the turtle's back delivered via clacks
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
"Really," said Gaspode. "Nothing good starts with ‘I need your help.’"
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓵𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓵𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽
November 30, 2025 at 11:20 PM
"Really," said Gaspode. "Nothing good starts with ‘I need your help.’"
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓵𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓱 𝓔𝓵𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓽
With him here, even uncertainty is uncertain. And I'm not sure even about that.
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
November 30, 2025 at 8:20 PM
With him here, even uncertainty is uncertain. And I'm not sure even about that.
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
Demons were like genies or philosophy professors—if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
November 30, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Demons were like genies or philosophy professors—if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
Greebo turned upon Granny Weatherwax a yellow-eyed stare of self-satisfied malevolence, such as cats always reserve for people who don't like them, and purred. Greebo was possibly the only cat who could snigger in purr.
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
November 30, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Greebo turned upon Granny Weatherwax a yellow-eyed stare of self-satisfied malevolence, such as cats always reserve for people who don't like them, and purred. Greebo was possibly the only cat who could snigger in purr.
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
Vimes reached behind the desk and picked up a faded copy of Twurp's Peerage or, as he personally thought of it, the guide to the criminal classes. You wouldn't find slum-dwellers in these pages, but you would find their landlords.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
November 30, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Vimes reached behind the desk and picked up a faded copy of Twurp's Peerage or, as he personally thought of it, the guide to the criminal classes. You wouldn't find slum-dwellers in these pages, but you would find their landlords.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"Precisely," said a passing bush.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤
November 30, 2025 at 8:20 AM
"Precisely," said a passing bush.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤
Sometimes the truth keeps itself alive in devious ways despite the best efforts of the official keepers of information.
𝐿𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈
𝐿𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈
November 30, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Sometimes the truth keeps itself alive in devious ways despite the best efforts of the official keepers of information.
𝐿𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈
𝐿𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈
Granny had counted the temples with a thoughtful look in her eyes; gods were always demanding that their followers acted other than according to their true natures, and the human fallout this caused made plenty of work for witches.
Equal Rites
Equal Rites
November 30, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Granny had counted the temples with a thoughtful look in her eyes; gods were always demanding that their followers acted other than according to their true natures, and the human fallout this caused made plenty of work for witches.
Equal Rites
Equal Rites
The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off.
Moving Pictures
Moving Pictures
November 29, 2025 at 11:20 PM
The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off.
Moving Pictures
Moving Pictures
"It is forbidden to fight on the Killing Ground," he said, and paused while he considered the sense of this. "You know what I mean, anyway..."
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓜𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓬
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓜𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓬
November 29, 2025 at 8:20 PM
"It is forbidden to fight on the Killing Ground," he said, and paused while he considered the sense of this. "You know what I mean, anyway..."
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓜𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓬
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓜𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓬
And in the cold afternoon, as the light drains from the sky, among the frosty leaves and in the damp air, they dance the other Morris. Because of the balance of things. You've got to dance both, they say. Otherwise you can't dance either.
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
November 29, 2025 at 5:20 PM
And in the cold afternoon, as the light drains from the sky, among the frosty leaves and in the damp air, they dance the other Morris. Because of the balance of things. You've got to dance both, they say. Otherwise you can't dance either.
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
"It's Lady Ramkin's coach," said Nobby.
"She's all right."
"Well, yes, but what about her ancestors, eh? You don't get big houses and carriages without grindin' the faces of the poor a bit."
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
"She's all right."
"Well, yes, but what about her ancestors, eh? You don't get big houses and carriages without grindin' the faces of the poor a bit."
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
November 29, 2025 at 2:20 PM
"It's Lady Ramkin's coach," said Nobby.
"She's all right."
"Well, yes, but what about her ancestors, eh? You don't get big houses and carriages without grindin' the faces of the poor a bit."
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
"She's all right."
"Well, yes, but what about her ancestors, eh? You don't get big houses and carriages without grindin' the faces of the poor a bit."
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
"You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree."
Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?"
The Colour of Magic
Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?"
The Colour of Magic
November 29, 2025 at 11:20 AM
"You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree."
Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?"
The Colour of Magic
Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?"
The Colour of Magic
"Can't you read, Esk?" The astonishment in his voice stung her.
"I expect so," she said defiantly. "I've never tried."
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
"I expect so," she said defiantly. "I've never tried."
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
November 29, 2025 at 8:20 AM
"Can't you read, Esk?" The astonishment in his voice stung her.
"I expect so," she said defiantly. "I've never tried."
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
"I expect so," she said defiantly. "I've never tried."
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
"Didn't he have a crossbow?" he said. "Bit odd, going after interesting rare butterflies with a crossbow."...
"Dunno," he said, "I suppose it stops them creating all these damn thunderstorms."
Men at Arms
"Dunno," he said, "I suppose it stops them creating all these damn thunderstorms."
Men at Arms
November 29, 2025 at 5:20 AM
"Didn't he have a crossbow?" he said. "Bit odd, going after interesting rare butterflies with a crossbow."...
"Dunno," he said, "I suppose it stops them creating all these damn thunderstorms."
Men at Arms
"Dunno," he said, "I suppose it stops them creating all these damn thunderstorms."
Men at Arms
"Not some kind of sign?" said Cohen. "There must have been some temple I didn't rob."
"The trouble with signs and portents," said Boy Willie, "is you never know who they're for."
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
"The trouble with signs and portents," said Boy Willie, "is you never know who they're for."
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
November 29, 2025 at 2:20 AM
"Not some kind of sign?" said Cohen. "There must have been some temple I didn't rob."
"The trouble with signs and portents," said Boy Willie, "is you never know who they're for."
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
"The trouble with signs and portents," said Boy Willie, "is you never know who they're for."
𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴
And I didn't bother with chapter six, because I promised my mother I'd just stick with the looting and pillaging, until I find the right girl.
𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓻𝔂
𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓻𝔂
November 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
And I didn't bother with chapter six, because I promised my mother I'd just stick with the looting and pillaging, until I find the right girl.
𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓻𝔂
𝓢𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓻𝔂
Don’t meddle in the affairs of witches because they clout you around the ear.
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
November 28, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Don’t meddle in the affairs of witches because they clout you around the ear.
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
"Good and bad is tricky," she said. "I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face."
Witches Abroad
Witches Abroad
November 28, 2025 at 5:20 PM
"Good and bad is tricky," she said. "I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face."
Witches Abroad
Witches Abroad
Prayer’s all very well. I can see where it can help you get your mind right. But an ax is an ax no matter what you believes.
𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘑𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘮
𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘑𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘮
November 28, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Prayer’s all very well. I can see where it can help you get your mind right. But an ax is an ax no matter what you believes.
𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘑𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘮
𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦 𝘑𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘶𝘮
If you told humans what the future held, it wouldn’t.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒇 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒇 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆
November 28, 2025 at 11:16 AM
If you told humans what the future held, it wouldn’t.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒇 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒇 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆
As a rule, royalty doesn't read much.
𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼
𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼
November 28, 2025 at 8:16 AM
As a rule, royalty doesn't read much.
𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼
𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼
Intelligent robbers would have started to count up the incongruities here. These, however, were the other kind, the kind for whom evolution was invented.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐
November 28, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Intelligent robbers would have started to count up the incongruities here. These, however, were the other kind, the kind for whom evolution was invented.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐
The crowds were still outside. Religion had ruled in the Old Kingdom for the best part of seven thousand years. Behind the eyes of every priest present was a graphic image of what would happen if the people ever thought, for one moment, that it ruled no more.
𝘗𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴
𝘗𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴
November 28, 2025 at 2:15 AM
The crowds were still outside. Religion had ruled in the Old Kingdom for the best part of seven thousand years. Behind the eyes of every priest present was a graphic image of what would happen if the people ever thought, for one moment, that it ruled no more.
𝘗𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴
𝘗𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴
Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent for it.
Equal Rites
Equal Rites
November 27, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent for it.
Equal Rites
Equal Rites